FamilyLife Blended® Minute

Avoiding Us vs. You

with Ron Deal | April 14, 2021
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Maria and her young adult children had many complaints about her husband. Clearly she needed to ask him to help find solutions, but I warned her not to use language like "you" and "we" or the gap between him and her kids would widen and she would be tempted to side with them. I said, "Emphasize you want to strengthen your marriage and you need his help to make things better for the family." Don't pit people against each other; lead with your desire for closeness so you tackle problems together.

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  • Maria and her young adult children had many complaints about her husband. Clearly she needed to ask him to help find solutions, but I warned her not to use language like "you" and "we" or the gap between him and her kids would widen and she would be tempted to side with them. I said, "Emphasize you want to strengthen your marriage and you need his help to make things better for the family." Don't pit people against each other; lead with your desire for closeness so you tackle problems together.

Be careful. Don’t turn a stepfamily problem into “Us vs. You.”

Avoiding Us vs. You

With Ron Deal
|
April 14, 2021
| Download Transcript PDF

Ron: Be careful. Don’t turn a stepfamily problem into “Us vs. You.”

Announcer: For FamilyLife Blended®, here’s Ron Deal.

Ron: Maria wrote to us on social media. She and her young adult children had a lot of complaints about her husband. Clearly she needed to ask him to help her find some solutions, but I warned her not to use language like “you” and “we” or the gap between him and her kids would just get wider and she would be tempted to side with them. I said, “Emphasize that you are searching for a way to strengthen your marriage and that you need his help to make things better for the family.”

Yeah, these things are delicate. Don’t pit people against each other; lead with your desire for closeness so you can tackle problems together. For FamilyLife Blended I’m Ron Deal.

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