Let Other Bio Kin Fill the Gap
In my experience most stepparents have a really big heart. They want to step into the physical gaps that exist in a child's life after they lose a parent. In her book, Stepparenting the Grieving Child, author Diane Fromme suggests this desire may be misguided. Children are more naturally drawn to their other biological kin—like a grandparent or uncle. A stepparent can provide new things, like a friendship, but there's something about extended family that is better able to “fill the gaps.”
Show Notes
About the Guest
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In my experience most stepparents have a really big heart. They want to step into the physical gaps that exist in a child's life after they lose a parent. In her book, Stepparenting the Grieving Child, author Diane Fromme suggests this desire may be misguided. Children are more naturally drawn to their other biological kin—like a grandparent or uncle. A stepparent can provide new things, like a friendship, but there's something about extended family that is better able to “fill the gaps.”
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Ron Deal
Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and ...more
When a parent dies who can best fill the gap for a child?
Ron: When a parent dies who can best fill the gap for a child?
Announcer: For FamilyLife Blended®, here’s Ron Deal.
Ron: In my experience most stepparents have a really big heart. They really want to step into the physical gaps that exist in a child’s life after they lose a parent. In her book, Stepparenting the Grieving Child author Diane Fromme suggests that this desire may be misguided. Children are more naturally drawn to their other biological kin—like a grandparent or uncle. A stepparent can provide new things, like a friendship, but there’s something about extended family that is better able to “fill the gaps.”
So, notice who they are drawn to and include these relatives in their lives as often as you can. Supporting those connections, in turn, helps stepchildren find a place for the stepparent in their heart. For FamilyLife Blended I’m Ron Deal.
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