FamilyLife Blended® Minute

Misplaced Frustration: Scapegoat 2

with Ron Deal | June 9, 2020
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  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • Ron Deal

    Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and Preparing to Blend. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist, popular conference speaker, and host of the FamilyLife Blended podcast. He and his wife, Nan, have three sons and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. Learn more at

Managing our anger starts with not having a scapegoat.

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Misplaced Frustration: Scapegoat 2

With Ron Deal
June 09, 2020
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Ron: Managing our anger starts with not having a scapegoat.

Announcer: For FamilyLife Blended®, here’s Ron Deal.

Ron: Every time Cassandra’s mom failed to show up or follow through on a commitment, she took it out on her stepmom or stepsiblings. It kind of makes sense. Her relationship with her mom was fragile and she didn’t want to push her away even further, so she’d pick a fight with her stepsiblings or mouth off to her stepmom. Anything but tell her mom how she really felt. So how do things get better?

Well, being responsible for our hurt and anger starts with knowing our fears and not letting them get the best of us. In this case, Cassandra needs to tell her mom how much she misses her and needs her. And then pray she responds. And if she doesn’t, hopefully Cassandra will let her stepmom help her cry. For FamilyLife Blended, I’m Ron Deal.

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