FamilyLife Blended® Minute

No Wonder You’re Confused

with | August 7, 2023
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Double-messages just leave you confused.

  • Show Notes

  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • Double-messages just leave you confused.

  • Ron Deal

    Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and Preparing to Blend. Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist, popular conference speaker, and host of the FamilyLife Blended podcast. He and his wife, Nan, have three sons and live in Little Rock, Arkansas. Learn more at

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No Wonder You’re Confused

August 07, 2023
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Ron: Double-messages just leave you confused.

Announcer: For FamilyLife Blended®, here’s Ron Deal.

Ron: Have you ever had someone tell you to be a certain way, then tell you not to be that way? Like when an employer makes you responsible for something, but then takes your authority away. It’s confusing. Well, stepparents get these double-messages a lot early on when their stepchild appreciates them for being a parent, but then gets annoyed with them for being a parent. Yes, provide for me like a parent, and give me an allowance, but don’t discipline me or invade my personal space.

Now the answer to this confusion is to not second-guess yourself. Act with consistency; build trust over time; and let your spouse handle punishment for a while. For FamilyLife Blended I’m Ron Deal.

Announcer: To find out more visit

FamilyLife Blended with Ron Deal is a production of FamilyLife®.

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