Occasionally Bow Out
Sometimes kids feel like they're competing with you for time and attention with their parent. On occasion they need focused time with their parent without you. It brings stability in the midst of a lot of change. So, give your spouse your blessing to spend one-on-one time with their kids. Also, be involved in some family activities, but bow out of others, especially when noncustodial children come and only have a little bit of time. This diminishes competition and shows you to be a safe person.
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About the Guest
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Sometimes kids feel like they're competing with you for time and attention with their parent. On occasion they need focused time with their parent without you. It brings stability in the midst of a lot of change. So, give your spouse your blessing to spend one-on-one time with their kids. Also, be involved in some family activities, but bow out of others, especially when noncustodial children come and only have a little bit of time. This diminishes competition and shows you to be a safe person.
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Ron Deal
Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is Director of FamilyLife Blended® for FamilyLife®, founder of Smart Stepfamilies™, and the author and Consulting Editor of the Smart Stepfamily Series of books including the bestselling Building Love Together in Blended Families: The 5 Love Languages® and Becoming Stepfamily Smart (with Dr. Gary Chapman), The Smart Stepfamily: 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, and ...more
Hey stepparents, did you know you’re the competition?
