About the Guest
Chris and Cindy Beall
Cindy Beall is a writer and mentor to women. She and her husband, Chris, speak openly about their difficult journey through Chris’ infidelity and pornography addiction that nearly destroyed their marriage and ministry. Through God’s grace they have inspired thousands of couples and have returned to full-time ministry where Chris serves as the Oklahoma City Campus Pastor at Life.Church. Her first book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken, released on August 1, 2011, and her second book, Rebuilding A Marriage Better Than New, release in 2016 with Harvest House Publishers. For more information, visit www.cindybeall.com.
Episode Transcript
Bob: So the thing you have to do with the dog is you have to kill the dog.
Chris: Right.
Bob: You were at the crossroads where, “I cannot manage this anymore. I have to put this to death.” I’m imagining, Chris, even in that moment, you don’t really know your heart—“Do I really want to put this to death?” Or, “I’m where I am and I feel bad, this will last for a while then I’ll be right back to it.”
Chris Monday morning I’m sitting in a staff meeting with Chris Groshell—who is my boss—and I can’t say enough about how God used this man in our marriage. He made a comment in that staff meeting and—
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—he said to our team that, “It is our private integrity that gives us the ability to minister publically, so we have to keep it clean. We have to. The stakes are so high.” He said, “If you are walking in sin—it’s going to find you out. Confess it, and you’ll find grace.” That was on a Monday. I had been at that church for six weeks with this looming cloud of, “I’m going to get found out.” That was on a Monday.
It was on a Tuesday that I’m like, “I can’t do this anymore.” I just really believed that all the things that God wanted to do in my life wouldn’t happen until I had the courage to bring what was in the dark into the light. James, “Confess your sins one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed.”
This whole time that I was in sin, I would drive home from having sinned and I’m confessing to God.
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“God, heal me. Please don’t let me ever do this again.” There’s not a Scripture in the Bible that says confess to the Lord for healing. We confess to God for forgiveness but there’s something about bringing it into the light and confessing it to another person and praying for each other that brings an exposure and a healing. The moment that I took that step was the beginning of radical healing in my own heart.
Cindy: I kind of equate it to—he got to the point that Tuesday morning—that he wanted freedom so desperately that he was willing to risk everything to get it—including our marriage. I know that you’ve got listeners right now listening to this broadcast and they are in a world of hurt and sick in bondage. They don’t hate their sin enough. When we come to the place where we hate it enough, we’ll do anything to find freedom. Hopefully somebody listening can take that step today.
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Dennis: Chris mentioned freedom. I immediately thought of Galatians chapter 5 verse 1. It says, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” There are undoubtedly listeners right now who are listening and they have never really met Jesus Christ and understood His love, His forgiveness, His mercy, His grace, His redemption—that He offers to people to step out of the prison that they are in and be set free.
I would just challenge you if you are in this situation now, it may be time for you to settle things with God. Chris was talking about settling things with the person you have offended. It may be important for you to first of all settle the issues with the God you’ve offended.
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Then secondly, after that relationship has been established—because that is what the Christian life is—it’s beginning a journey of following Christ—not perfectly—but you’re following the perfect Savior who now lives in you. Then go to your spouse—and there’s where as a couple you have to embrace the same Jesus Christ who set you free—you have to express forgiveness to one another. Ephesians chapter 4 talks about forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven you. That’s your command.
Forgiveness means you give up the right to punish the other person. I wish you could see Cindy’s nodding head right now—she’s smiling and nodding. She had to repeatedly give up the right to punish Chris.
Bob: The verse I’m thinking of that the two of you have modeled in this entire story is Ephesians 5:11 that says, “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
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That’s what you guys choose to do. This week we’ll get a chance to follow you on that journey and hear how God was at work in both of your lives as you moved forward.
In fact, Chris and Cindy have shared the story in a book that Cindy has written that’s called Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New. We’ve got copies of the book in our FamilyLifeToday Resource Center. Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com if you’d like to get a copy or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to receive a copy. Again the website is
FamilyLifeToday.com, you can order online. Or you can call to order at 1-800-358-6329. 1-800-F as in family, “L” as in life, and then the word TODAY.
Again I’ll mention—on our website we’ve got a short video clip where you guys share your story—listeners may want to view that. They may know somebody they’d like to pass that clip on to. Again you’ll find it at FamilyLifeToday.com.
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Well, this is the home stretch week for us here at FamilyLife—it’s the last week of August. We just have a few days left to hear from listeners if we’re going to be able to take full advantage of the matching gift opportunity that was extended to us back at the beginning of the month. We had a friend of the ministry who came along and agreed he would match every donation we received this month on a dollar for dollar basis up to a total of $800,000. Now those matching funds will enable us to be able to reach more people more often with this radio program, through our website, through our events and our resources.
You can help extend the reach of this ministry by making a donation and having your donation be effectively doubled because of the matching gift opportunity—but you need to do it before the end of the month—and the end of the month is this week. So today is a good day to go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make an online donation or call to donate at 1-800-FL-TODAY.
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Or you can mail your donation to us at FamilyLife Today at P.O. Box 7111, Little Rock, AR. Our zip code is 72223.
Please do pray that we would get the necessary funds this week and be able to take full advantage of that match. We appreciate you.
We hope you can join us back tomorrow. We are going to continue to follow Chris and Cindy Beall as they take us through the process they’ve been through in rebuilding a broken marriage. Hope you can join us back tomorrow for that.
Bob: I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I’m Bob Lepine. We will see you next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.
FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.
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