FamilyLife Today® Podcast

Expectations and Adjustments, Part 1

with Dennis Rainey | May 26, 2009
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Marriage--it’s a lot harder than it looks. Today, Dennis Rainey looks at three reasons marriages fail and encourages couples to go the distance in order to make it to the finish line of lifetime love.

  • Show Notes

  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • Marriage--it’s a lot harder than it looks. Today, Dennis Rainey looks at three reasons marriages fail and encourages couples to go the distance in order to make it to the finish line of lifetime love.

  • Dave and Ann Wilson

    Dave and Ann Wilson are hosts of FamilyLife Today®, FamilyLife’s nationally-syndicated radio program. Dave and Ann have been married for more than 38 years and have spent the last 33 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway since 1993 and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country. Cofounders of Kensington Church—a national, multicampus church that hosts more than 14,000 visitors every weekend—the Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released book Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019). Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as chaplain for 33 years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active alongside Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small-group leader, and mentor to countless wives of professional athletes. The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.

Marriage–it’s a lot harder than it looks.

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Expectations and Adjustments, Part 1

With Dennis Rainey
May 26, 2009
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Bob: Yeah, I’m looking here at chapter 13 in the book Starting Your Marriage Right

BMW or Bicycle:  Agreeing on Lifestyle Choices.  That’s part of the money issue, isn’t


Dennis: It really is, and unfortunately, if we don’t have that budget, we can come to the

end of the month and struggle with one another month after month after month.  That

doesn’t have to take place.  We can learn to live within our means.

Bob: That’s chapter 14 where it talks about balancing the family budget.  You have really

tackled most of the issues that couples are going to face in the first few years of marriage in the book Starting Your Marriage Right, and it’s a book we’ve got available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.  If you’d like to receive a copy, we’d love to send you one.  In fact, as you’re encouraging, Dennis, this would be a great book for couples to go through together with an older couple, a mentor couple who can talk through a chapter with you and maybe reflect back on some of their own mistakes, some of their own experiences, and help you see that it’s not abnormal to have to make these early adjustments in marriage.

Dennis: It’s written to go either way.  A couple can go through it just by themselves, or a

mentoring couple could sit down … and Bob, I’ll tell you, this is how I hope and dream and pray that this resource will be used in the lives of tens of thousands of newly married couples across the country because their real need in starting their marriage out right is for someone with flesh on to share their victories and their failures, their strengths and their weaknesses in these areas of adjustment. 

We all will make adjustment to expectations in a marriage relationship.  The problem comes when newly marrieds feel like they’re the only people on the face of the planet that have ever had to adjust to the end of the month, but they’re not.  Others have gone through this, they’ve made their mistakes, and that’s why a book like this can kick off some discussion, but can really be utilized by an older couple who’s willing to mentor the next generation of young couples.

Bob: Well, again, the book is called Starting Your Marriage Right, and if you know

couples who are about to get married, this book would make a great gift for those couples as they begin their life together.  You can contact us here at FamilyLife for more information.  1-800-FL-TODAY is our toll-free number.  That’s 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word “today” or you can go online at

I should also mention for those couples who are engaged and the wedding is still a ways

off we have a workbook for premarried couples called, Preparing for Marriage. This has

been a best selling guide for a few years now.  Again, our web site is

I want to take a minute here and say thanks to the many regular listeners of FamilyLife

Today who have already contacted us this month who have responded to our matching

gift challenge this month.  We had some friends of the ministry who were aware of the

challenging financial times we been in as a ministry.  They came forward a few weeks ago and said they wanted to encourage listeners to make a donation to FamilyLife Today.   And to do that we will agree to match every donation that is sent this month on a dollar for dollar basis up to $356,000.  Many of you have heard about that and responded.  We appreciate that.  Just a few more days left in the month of May.  We’re hoping to hear from as many listeners as possible.  You can donate on line at or call  1-800-FL-TODAY and make your donation.  Again, we appreciate your generosity very much.

Well, tomorrow we are going to find out the right way to load the dishwasher.  Why not doing it the right way can create some real challenges in your marriage relationship.  I hope you can be with us for that.

Thanks to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.  On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I’m Bob Lepine.  We’ll see you tomorrow for another edition of “FamilyLife Today.”

“FamilyLife Today” is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.  Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow.

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