Powerful Prayers for Your Teens – Brooke McGlothlin & Stacey Thacker

Episode Transcript

FamilyLife Today® with Dave and Ann Wilson; Podcast Transcript

This content has been generated by an artificial intelligence language model. While we strive for accuracy and quality, please note that the information provided will most likely not be entirely error-free or up-to-date. We recommend independently verifying the content with the originally-released audio. This transcript is provided for your personal use and general information purposes only. References to conferences, resources, or other special promotions may be obsolete. We do not assume any responsibility or liability for the use or interpretation of this content.

Powerful Prayers for Your Teens

Guest:Brooke McGlothlin and Stacey Thacker

Release Date:October 7, 2025

Stacey (00:00:00):

One of the things that I think about in the teen years there is this, they’re leaving, right? Those peer relationships become most important. We’ve always really emphasized relationship in our family. We’ve been very intentional. If that’s not been your story, it’s never too late. What prayer does for me is it keeps me sensitive. If I’m walking with the Lord, I’m on the same page with Him. I notice things more than I would.

Dave (00:00:26):

I got to start this way. I’ve never felt what I just felt when we prayed before this interview. We pray for every interview that God would really use it, and I thought “Wow, we’re praying with two prayer warriors. These women write books about praying. I felt like—

Ann (00:00:43):

They’re experts and that they’re going to, if they pray for us, God will hear.

Brooke:

Oh, mercy; no pressure.

Stacey (00:00:48):

I have a story about that. As I was on an interview, I was in a Facebook live interview, and the sweet interviewer said the same thing. She said, “Oh, you’re a prayer warrior.” And I said, “Oh, I wouldn’t call myself a prayer warrior. I know those women; they are down front at church.”

Brooke (00:01:07):

There’s somebody else.

Stacey (00:01:08):

There’s somebody else. They have oil in their pocket, and you pray, and you feel like the ground shakes. Those are prayer warriors. I don’t really feel like I’m a prayer warrior. I mean, I have some experience in prayer. And she disagreed with me live on the Facebook interview. She said, “And I disagree with you because the definition of a prayer warrior is someone who’s prayed hard and long and persevered in prayer.” And I said, “Huh, well, yeah, I guess”—

Brooke (00:01:31):

I am a prayer warrior.

Stacey (00:01:33):

“I guess I could say that I’m a prayer warrior if you’re using that definition.” And then she paused and she said, “Well, even if that’s not the case, you can’t find any place in scripture where God has used people that aren’t experts or even would be considered good at what they’re doing. He never uses people like that.” And I was like, “Yes, you are absolutely right. Thank you very much.”

Brooke:

I’m just glad the Lord uses me.

Stacey:

Yes, yes. So that is exactly why God has chosen me, because I am not an expert actually. It was one of the funniest interviews I’ve had.

Ann (00:02:02):

I love that because I think a lot of us are prayer warriors and wouldn’t call ourselves that, but we’re desperate enough to be on our face before God.

Brooke (00:02:10):

That’s what it is. It’s the desperation.

Ann (00:02:12):

And so the voices, you’re hearing two different women who’ve written two different books about prayer.

Dave (00:02:18):

Got a girl mom and a boy mom.

Ann (00:02:19):

Yes, exactly. So why don’t you guys introduce yourselves and our listeners can kind of hear your voice, see your faces on YouTube and get a handle on what you do. And I love that you’re friends. And look you guys, their books—

Brooke (00:02:34):

Our books are friends.

Ann (00:02:35):

—look the same. They are friends. I know.

Stacey (00:02:36):

They are.

Dave (00:02:39):

By the way, you can get them at FamilyLifeToday.com, show notes; click on that link.

Stacey (00:02:43):

I’ll go first since I’m on the side. I’m Stacey Thacker and I actually live here in central Florida with my family. My husband, Mike and I have been married 31 years, which that’s crazy. We have four daughters ages—let’s see if I can do this. This is always a test—almost 26, 22, 19 and 15. Who just told me yesterday, “Mom, how does it feel? I’m going to be 16 in like two months.” I said, “Stop, just stop. It’s too much.”

Dave:

She’ll be driving.

Ann (00:03:13):

It’s true. When your youngest is a certain age, it makes you feel older.

Stacey (00:03:14):

Yeah, it’s the last 16-year-old. I said, “Well, I’ve been through this before.” She said, “Yeah, but I’m your baby.” “Thanks sweetie.”

Dave (00:03:19):

I’ve never been through this.

Ann (00:03:19):

What about you, Brooke, the boy mom?

Brooke (00:03:22):

Yes. So I’m Brooke McLaughlin and I live in the mountains of southwestern Virginia. My husband Corey, and I call the Appalachian Mountains home. We have been married for 23 years, and we have two boys together. One is 20, one is freshly 20, and one is freshly 18. So I always like to say start interviews by saying, actually Stacey clearly has, but I only just actually survived the teenage years, so I’m very happy about that. Yeah, our love our Virginia area, but are happy to be here in Orlando as well.

Ann:

That’s super fun.

Dave (00:03:57):

Well, we’re going to play a game with you guys.

Brooke (00:04:00):

Oh, fun.

Dave (00:04:01):

Alright, have you ever done this on a podcast?

Stacey:

No. This will be a first.

Ann (00:04:03):

I know that your books are about praying for teen boys, praying for teen girls, but we thought this game would be great

Dave (00:04:10):

And it might highlight some of the differences between boys and girls. Who knows? Maybe not. So we’re going to give you a sentence and you got to finish it.

Stacey and Brooke:

Okay.

Ann (00:04:18):

This game is called Finish This sentence.

Brooke:

That’s genius.

Dave (00:04:22):

It’s a FamilyLife exclusive game.

Ann (00:04:25):

Our producer Jim came up with this, who’s pretty brilliant.

Dave (00:04:28):

So if you love it, it’s Jim. If you hate it, it’s Jim. You can blame Jim.

Brooke (00:04:32):

Thanks, Jim.

Dave (00:04:33):

Alright, your teen comes home and says, “Today was the best day ever.” Why?

Brooke (00:04:40):

I hit a home run in the game.

Dave:

Really?

Ann (00:04:45):

So something they accomplished? Okay.

Stacey (00:04:49):

Oh gosh. My girls would say they had the best day ever if they spent time with their friends. It was a fun day with their friends. So if something happened at school.

Ann:

So relational.

Stacey:

Yeah, relational. Yeah.

Dave (00:04:56):

Is every answer going to be that stereotypical?

Brooke:

Maybe, maybe.

Stacey:

This is unrehearsed so we’ll see. We weren’t ready for it.

Brooke (00:05:02):

I mean, it just came to me immediately, so I just said what was off the cuff.

Dave (00:05:06):

Yeah. I mean, we’re boy mom, dad, parents, and that would be pretty close.

Ann (00:05:11):

I think so too but having granddaughters now, it’s so relational. Their highs and lows have to do with relationships. Oh, okay. Let me ask you this.

Dave (00:05:23):

Me? We’re asking them, you’re not allowed to ask me.

Ann (00:05:25):

If you came home and you said, “Today was the best day ever.”

Dave (00:05:31):

No, this is not about me.

Ann:

No. I’m just thinking of couples.

Dave:

This is about them.

Ann (00:05:34):

I know, but I’m saying isn’t that kind of, I think you would say something I accomplished and I would probably—I could say that too, because that’s important. But if a relational thing hit that was really good or bad, that would be kind of high for me too.

Dave (00:05:48):

Oh, for sure.

Ann (00:05:49):

Interesting.

Dave (00:05:50):

I would say somebody said I did something good today.

Ann (00:05:52):

Alright, you ready for number two?

Brooke:

Yes.

Ann:

You open the door to your teens room, what’s the first thing you smell?

Brooke (00:06:02):

The food he cooked in the kitchen from three days ago.

Dave:

Really? They cook?

Brooke:

Yes. Both of my boys. Now, I’m not saying they’re chefs, but they will. And actually—

Ann:

Because they’re hungry.

Brooke:

They’re hungry all the time and they cook late at night, so I’ve already gone to bed, and so they’ll be cooking and doing simple things like scrambled eggs or heating up a pizza, but it’s the leftovers and the dishes. I go in my kitchen, and I look for a fork and I’m like, “Where are all the forks?” And then I go look in their rooms and I find them.

Dave:

Really?

Brooke:

Yes.

Stacey (00:06:34):

That’s real. That’s all teenagers.

Brooke (00:06:35):

It might be.

Ann:

Probably. What about you, Stacey?

Stacey (00:06:35):

Yeah, I would say it would be a fragrance of some sort. My girls obsessively spray perfume or some sort of fragrance spray, so it would not be food, although there is food in the room for sure.

Ann (00:06:48):

But it would smell good.

Stacey (00:06:49):

It would smell slightly better. Yeah.

Brooke (00:06:51):

My boys don’t try.

Stacey (00:06:52):

Yeah, that’s what I would say.

Dave (00:06:54):

I mean, is there food left overnight on a plate?

Brooke (00:06:58):

Probably.

Ann:

Yes, it’s a plate.

Dave:

No animals? No dogs in there?

Brooke:

It’s not that we have said that that’s an option. We’ve encouraged them not to do that, obviously. But yeah, it happens. Yeah.

Dave (00:07:06):

It’s been a while since we’ve had teens. Alright, your teen says, “Mom, don’t freak out but”— But what?

Brooke (00:07:19):

I got a ticket. I’m not saying that from experience. Yeah, so.

Stacey (00:07:28):

I would say it probably has to do with some sort of test of something happened, like a bad grade or something like that. Don’t freak out. I flunked. Did you see my grade? Because we get those as well. But it would probably something like a performance thing. Yeah.

Dave (00:07:42):

Wow.

Ann (00:07:43):

That’s interesting.

Dave (00:07:43):

Reminds me of the night one of our sons ended up at jail. Remember that?

Brooke (00:07:47):

Did you freak out?

Dave (00:07:49):

She did.

Ann (00:07:51):

It was midnight Thanksgiving. My entire family is in town—

Brooke (00:07:56):

Of course, they were.

Ann (00:07:56):

—sleeping in the house.

Stacey (00:07:57):

Of course they were.

Ann (00:07:58):

We get a call from our son’s best friend and said, “Hey”—Dave talked to him. What did he say?

Dave (00:08:04):

It was very late. He said, “Hey”—

Ann (00:08:08):

They’re in college. He’s 20.

Dave (00:08:09):

—”just got pulled over. CJ’s in the back of a police car. They’re taking him to jail. We did nothing wrong. This is the wrong guy.” And Ann’s like, “Oh my goodness.”

Ann (00:08:24):

And Dave’s like, “What did he do, really?

Dave (00:08:26):

Yeah. I was like, “He did something. Go ahead, tell me.

Ann:

He’s a great kid.

Dave:

And it was. It was literally they pulled over the wrong car.

Stacey:

Oh my goodness.

Ann (00:08:33):

They thought he stole a car.

Dave (00:08:35):

It looked exactly like a car that was stolen, and it took a long time, but it was awful. Yeah, “Don’t freak out, but I’m in jail.”

Stacey (00:08:43):

That would be something that I think would warrant possible freaking out so I’m with you. I support you.

Ann:

Thank you, because I pretty much did.

Dave (00:08:50):

Okay. Your teen is past curfew. What are you worried about?

Stacey (00:08:54):

Safety.

Dave (00:08:55):

Safety?

Ann (00:08:56):

What kind of safety?

Stacey (00:08:56):

Just that they’re hurt, that they can’t get home, that something wrong has happened. If they’re past curfew, it’s generally that there’s something has happened, and they can’t get home.

Ann (00:09:05):

That says a lot about your parenting, the fact that you would not assume anything worse than that. They would be home if it weren’t for something.

Stacey:

—if they could be.

Brooke (00:09:17):

Yeah, I think same. Either that or honestly, I think my answer would depend on which child we’re talking about. One would be very much what Stacey said, and then the other would be because he forgot what time it was. So I don’t think anything malicious, but just, yeah, he just was in a whole different world and forgot what time it was.

Dave (00:09:37):

So you have pretty compliant kids. Anybody ever gotten in trouble?

Brooke (00:09:41):

No. I don’t have—I will not say that. Now, they are good kids and as teenagers, they do mature when they get, but when they were little, God did not give me compliant boys. I was a compliant child. I didn’t get those as a gift from the Lord. But they do grow and they do mature, and we pray, right. And so it’s better than it was.

Ann (00:10:02):

That’s what I was going to say. It’s because these women pray, man. This is, makes a difference. I think that’s pretty incredible.

Dave:

My mom prayed.

Brooke (00:10:11):

Did it just take longer for him?

Dave (00:10:12):

Yeah, it took a long time for me to—

Ann:

—mature.

Dave:

—come around.

Ann (00:10:17):

But look what happened to you.

Brooke:

That’s right. God’s time.

Stacey:

You landed well.

Dave (00:10:20):

Probably because of my mom’s prayers and my wife. She reformed me. Here’s a question. You got to answer at the same time. I’m going to say 1, 2, 3, and you got to blurt out your answer. When do you give your teen a cell phone? One, two, three—

Stacey:

Thirteen.

Brooke (00:10:35):

Oh gosh, it took me longer. Sorry. I was going to say probably 12 or 13.

Dave (00:10:40):

Oh, come on. You just said that because—

Brooke (00:10:42):

No, I was.

Dave (00:10:42):

—Stacey was first.

Brooke (00:10:43):

That is actually when we generally gave our kids cell phones, and then when we gave them cell phones, they didn’t have access to all the social media. We did that very slowly. In fact—

Dave:

Like a __ phone?

Brooke:

Yeah. My kids would roll their eyes still to this day and say, “Yeah, we were the last ones to get everything in that realm.”

Stacey (00:11:00):

I will say this, as the parent of four that my youngest has been permitted to have things and do things sooner than the others, partially because they get pulled up into maturity sooner.

Brooke (00:11:14):

They do.

Stacey (00:11:14):

And what happens in those situations is that her older sisters will then look at me and go, “Are you going to let her do that? And I said, “Probably, yeah.” I mean, we have the relationship. I know where she is, but I have noticed that those things have changed a little bit the farther down you get in the line of girls.

Ann (00:11:33):

Oh, I’m the youngest of four, and believe me, my siblings said that constantly.

Brook:

I’m the baby too.

Ann:

Are you kidding? Did you get that too?

Brooke:

Yep.

Ann:

The older siblings are so mad about how spoiled you are.

Brooke (00:11:44):

And I’m a girl and I have an older brother, so I’m not only the baby, but I’m the baby girl and I’m the baby of the whole family as well. My husband is also a baby. We could do a separate show on how good that works together the first year.

Stacey (00:11:56):

I would watch that. Listen, I would so listen to that. Yes.

Ann:

Okay, here’s another one. Your teen pushes your buttons with their wardrobe choice. What are they wearing?

Brooke (00:12:09):

Mismatched clothes. But again, that’s one child over the other. I have one that’s very on top of his clothing.

Stacey (00:12:18):

Yeah, it’s not necessarily what they’re wearing, it’s where they’re wearing it. Yes. We live in Florida, obviously it’s hot all year long. So there’s times when I would say “You’re going to wear that to church? Really? That kind of thing. It’s usually something that—it’s never bad, it’s just not what I would pick. It might be shorter, that sort of thing, strappier, but it would be more context. Let’s wear this to the right, in the right space kind of thing.

Ann (00:12:44):

How would you say it? Like that? Let’s say to church.

Stacey (00:12:47):

If it was just my opinion and I felt like, well, it’s actually probably fine. I would probably just hold my tongue honestly. And I would just say, “Well, why did you choose that outfit?” kind of thing. But if I felt like it was super inappropriate, which it’s never been that way, I would probably say “Maybe not for church. Maybe if we’re going to Walmart later or something.” You know what I mean? Context is everything. So I probably would just, if I felt like I really needed to draw a line, and again, probably drew those lines a lot firmer with my older girls, because I’ve loosened up probably a little bit. And as I’ve released my kids into the world, I think some of my choices were probably a little over the line.

Brooke (00:13:31):

For us, it’s different. It’s more about like, “No, we’re not wearing sweatpants to church.”

Ann (00:13:37):

It’s different with boys. You don’t have some of those. My friend, her daughters would sneak clothes into the backpack.

Brooke (00:13:46):

Okay, I did that once. I did that once. And if my dad listens to this, then I’ve just totally outed myself.

Stacey:

You are so in trouble.

Brooke:

But I don’t know that he will. No, I did it once. He and I, the biggest, I have a fantastic father, wonderful relationship with him, and I’m so grateful for him. The only big fight we ever had growing up was over the length of a skirt that by today’s standards would be considered long. And I walked out; he got up with me in the mornings. I had to get up super early to go to school, and he would get up and have breakfast with me. I walked into the kitchen, and he looked at me, and he said, “Go back. You’re not wearing that.” And my mother had bought it for me. So we had this thing going in the wee hours of the morning where my dad is like, “You’re not leaving the house in that skirt.” And my mother is yelling from the back, “Well, David, you used to like when I wore skirts like that.”

Dave:

That’s the idea.

Brooke:

It was a thing. So he wasn’t going to let me out the door. My dad was a sergeant major in the army. I was going to lose that battle. And so I went back and I changed, and I put it in my backpack, and I changed when I got to school. And the funny thing—

Dave:

He never found out?

Brooke:

No, he never did. It’s like the most rebellious—

Dave (00:14:54):

We’re going to send him this interview.

Brooke (00:14:55):

Yeah, I was so not rebellious. This is the heightened level of rebellion in my teenage years. But the funny thing is that there were a lot of yearbook pictures done that day. So all the yearbook pictures have me in the skirt, and I’m like, oh, he’s going to find out.

Dave:

He’s never seen it?

Brooke:

He never saw it.

Stacey:

That’s funny.

Brooke (00:15:14):

Until today.

Dave (00:15:14):

Somebody’s going to send this interview.

Ann:

This is a thing though, with school, going to school, going to parties, whatever, especially with girls of, was that hard?

Stacey (00:15:26):

Yeah, I mean, I would say it wasn’t as much of an issue in our home, but I know for a lot of moms it is. And again, I think for us it was always more of a context that some things are fine anywhere, but we need to know who we’re dressing, what occasion we’re dressing for. It’s more like just knowing what’s the expectation and that sort of thing. I think I will say my girls made great choices for the most part.

Ann (00:15:52):

Were you coaching them when they were younger so that it wasn’t an issue as they got older?

Stacey (00:15:57):

Yeah. I mean, ideally when we would, in Brooke’s situation, her mom approved of the skirt. Her dad just didn’t know. So I was always in on those conversations. And the older our kids get in now, I mean, when we were first starting our parenting journey, we weren’t shopping online really. And now they have things delivered. I don’t even know where they’re coming from. We have packages all day long coming to the door, and so sometimes things slip by, but for the most part, my girls have made great choices, but I think for a lot of moms, it’s like you just don’t even know anymore. They have access and they shop on their own and you don’t even know until later maybe when they get home.

Dave (00:16:35):

I mean, I’m thinking there’s a mom or dad listening, thinking, “My kids aren’t making great choices.” What would you say? How is this happening in your home?

Ann (00:16:46):

As teenagers?

Brooke (00:16:46):

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, first of all, I just want to say that I know that that’s very hard and sometimes the answers, in fact, the answer that I would give, it may not be an exact answer. The first thing that I want to say is that it’s not too late.

(00:17:04):

I really think that it’s based on the relationship that you have with your child. One of the things that my husband and I have purposed to do is to the detriment of almost everything else, is maintain relationship with our kids. And it has served us well. Now, I’m not saying that my kids have never done anything wrong, that we don’t have fights, that we don’t argue or whatever, that we don’t disagree. We do routinely because we’re four sinful human beings living in the same house, but it’s the relationship that we took the time to build with them that even when we have an explosion or a blowup or whatever, that’s what will bring all four of us back together at some point. Maybe not immediately, but at some point, to say, “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t handle that quite right.” Or “Can we talk about this calmly?”

(00:17:49):

Or “Can I help you understand why I feel this way and why what you’re doing is offensive to me?” instead of coming at it from the like, “Don’t do this,” and “You can’t do that,” or whatever. I have found that especially at this age when they’re little, it’s different because you just get to tell them what to do. But now, I think helping them to understand why it’s important to you, I also think it helps them to see you as your own individual human being. I’m not just mom. I’m actually a woman of God that has my own calling and my own ministry and my own life, and I’ve had my own experiences, and this is my heart in this situation. And would you take a second and understand me apart from just seeing me as mom? That’s been helpful for us.

Ann (00:18:37):

It’s the old Josh McDowell quote, rules without relationship equals rebellion.

Brooke:

Yes.

Ann:

You’re saying the relationship part with teens especially is so important.

Dave (00:18:46):

Okay. How do you do that? And it’ll be interesting to hear the difference in boys and girls. We wrote a parenting book, No Perfect Parents, and we had a whole section on raising teenagers, and that’s what we said. It feels like they’re pulling away, and they don’t want a relationship, and they are pulling away, become adults, but they really long for this relationship. But then the question is, okay, how do you build that? What’s that look like? Is it different for boy mom, girl mom?

Stacey (00:19:12):

Yeah. I mean, one of the things that I think about in the teen years there is this, they’re leaving, right? They’re going to school or they’re going away in cars or they’re going with their friends. And those peer relationships become most important. It feels that way. For me, same as Brooke, as we’ve always really emphasized relationship in our family. We’ve been very intentional. But that is to say, if that’s not been your story, it’s never too late. To me it’s being available and to be listening, to be leaning in, not smothering, asking good questions, but being ready. I mean, I think since we all have teenagers or have had teenagers, we know that sometimes they’re ready and you’re not, and they come asking questions or they want to talk and you’re tired. I mean, it’s late at night. So one of the things is just to be available and to be ready.

(00:20:01):

I think now we compete with so much. EarPods are in or headphones are in, and so half the time they’re not even physically listening to us, but to be waiting for those opportunities and maybe even having checkpoints with them and just to say, “Hey, just could we check in once a week or once a day” or whatever you are in your relationship with them, but just to be available and ready. And why prayer comes into that so much is because what prayer does for me is it keeps me sensitive to the spirit’s nudge, “Hey, you need to ask this question.” Or “Hey, she’s hurting.” And so often those behaviors that bubble up are because there’s something else going on. There’s a heart issue that’s going on there. And if I’m walking with the Lord, I’m on the same page with him. And especially in regard to where my girls are, I notice things more than I would.

Ann (00:20:49):

It’s like asking God to give you eyes to see what’s really going on deeper.

Brooke (00:20:53):

I would echo everything that she just said. The only thing that I would add to that that has served me well over the years is being a student of my sons.

Stacey (00:21:02):

That’s good.

Brooke (00:21:02):

I actually really try very hard to know them, so I try. For example, we are a baseball family, but my youngest son also really loves basketball. I never liked basketball growing up. In fact, I kind of hated it. I just actively, it was the sport I didn’t like. My family grew up a football family.

Dave (00:21:23):

Yeah, baby.

Brooke (00:21:24):

Yeah, so I knew that.

Stacey:

This is painful for me.

Brooke:

I knew a lot about football. I didn’t know. I know she’s a basketball girl, but—

Stacey (00:21:29):

I’m from Indiana so basketball is king.

Brooke (00:21:32):

But my younger son started liking it, and so I’m like, “Great.” And I will say he started liking it better than baseball. So we were like, “What is happening?” He actually likes baseball now too. They come full circle. But I sat on the bleachers. I sat there and I watched him. And that may seem like a little thing. Most parents today show up. Not all of them do, but a lot of them do. But taking the time to know and be a part, not just to know what they like or know who they are, but to choose to be a part of it. I very rarely ever miss anything that my kids do. Now, our older son is playing baseball in college, and so his travel has prevented us from being able to go to all of his games. But we are a part of their lives.

(00:22:19):

We are an anchor in their lives. And if you have not been able to do that or have not done that for some reason, I would just say start with an open, honest conversation with your kids and admit your fault. Admit that, Hey, I don’t think I’ve done this quite right. I wish I had done this differently. And it might feel weird in the beginning for me to make these changes, but I’m committed to trying to do that. I won’t do it perfectly, but I’m committed to trying to do it. And I just want you to be aware I don’t know how you’re going to respond or if you’re going to like it or if you’re not, but your response isn’t something that should determine whether I’m doing anything right or not. So I’m going to try my very best to get it right from here on. And I hope that you’ll be okay with that.

Ann (00:23:01):

It’s a great conversation. And I think also one of the things that we did with our kids, I remember, I can remember them, all three of them, sitting at the island eating breakfast a lot of mornings. And once in a while I’d say, “Hey, guys, is there anything I’m doing that’s really bothering you?”

Brooke (00:23:17):

That is such a brave question.

Stacey:

That is a brave question.

Ann (00:23:18):

As teenagers—

Dave (00:23:20):

They usually had something.

Stacey:

I’m sure.

Ann (00:23:22):

Because you see it in their face and their eyes, and it has to be in a moment where everything’s calm, they’re in a good mood. And they almost always had something that I was doing, like, “Why are you always on me about going to bed at a certain time? I’m in high school. I should be able to determine that myself.”

(00:23:41):

And I’d say, “But it seems like you’re super grumpy and you’re late for school and you’re blah, blah, blah.” And he goes, “But isn’t that my problem?” And I’m like, “Yep, yes, it is. And you’ll be in college in a few years so okay, I can do that.” But then one of them said one time, “I think it’s a ridiculous rule that girls aren’t allowed to be at our house when you guys are gone.” And so I’m like, “Alright, I’m hearing that. Here’s why. And yet that’s not going to change. And do you get it? Do you get why?”

Brooke (00:24:10):

Yeah, sometimes you can compromise. And then there’s other times where you’re like, “I hear you. I care about what you’re saying. I want to take the time to hear you, but at the same time, this is not going to change.”

Ann:

Yeah, that’s good.

Dave (00:24:22):

Hey, Stacey, you said something a minute ago. I want to ask both of you about. You said something about when God sort of prompts you. We’re talking about praying for your sons and daughters, teenage sons and daughters. What’s the listening part of prayer? Because often when we think of prayer, all we think about is talking to God, which is obviously part of it. Is there an aspect of not talking, like listening, especially for your kids?

Stacey (00:24:47):

Oh yeah. I mean, ideally, yes. I think so often our prayer is more of supplication where we’re like, this is what we need to happen. This is what I need fixed tomorrow in my kids. And by the way, adding all these things in as well, their friends, all the things. But I think really with me in prayer is way more important for me to come to the Lord, to lay my heart out, say, “God, this is really what’s on my heart, but what is your heart for my girls?” And that listening aspect, often it’ll happen if I’m totally honest, I’ll have some time with the Lord in the morning when I’m driving.

Ann (00:25:23):

Me too.

Stacey (00:25:24):

And maybe some music’s on and I’m talking; I’m dialoguing with the Lord. And when I finally go silent, I just hear a still small voice saying, “I got her.” You know what I mean? He leads me to a scripture of some sort. Something pops into my mind, and it’s usually when my mind is more just not being so aggressive with what I think I need. It’s just pausing, just making sure. And sometimes if I’m totally honest, I have to set a timer. I’m not even kidding. I just did this the other day where I just set a timer, 15 minutes. I’m not going to look at anything. I’m not going to say anything. I’m just going to listen. And “Lord, whatever you need to say to me in this moment, I’m just here.” And sometimes He speaks very specifically. Sometimes I just get really quiet and peaceful, and it prepares me maybe for the next thing. But that’s how I would do it. I don’t do it perfectly. It’s a goal. I’m always in process with that. But I have found God already knows what I’m going to say. He already knows what’s on my heart. And my taking that posture of listening and being open and available and saying, Lord, just pour into me what it is I need to know. He loves to answer that prayer.

Ann (00:26:30):

That’s good. What about you, Brooke?

Brooke (00:26:31):

So good. Can I borrow your Bible?

Stacey (00:26:32):

Of course.

Brooke (00:26:33):

Oh my goodness. Thank you.

Ann (00:26:34):

I’ve never seen a Bible that color.

Brooke (00:26:36):

It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?

Ann:

It’s so pretty.

Brooke:

It’s so beautiful.

Stacey (00:26:39):

I’ve just been using it this year. It’s been my 2025 Bible, and I’ve just been very intentional to try to get back to a physical Bible. I mean, I love my phone. It has a great Bible, several translations, but this has been a game changer for me.

Dave (00:26:52):

There’s a bunch of notes in there.

Brooke (00:26:54):

I mean, well written.

Stacey (00:26:54):

If you need me to pull them off, I—

Brooke (00:26:56):

I am so impressed by that. I am so impressed. So for me, I always think Tim Keller had a definition of prayer that I really liked, and it says, he said, “Prayer is a conversation that God started.”

(00:27:09):

“And He just invites us into it.” A lot of times women will say to me, “Well, Brooke, I really want to be a praying mom, but I don’t know where to start.” And I always say to them, “Well, I have some really good news for you. You didn’t start it. All you have to do is join it. You just join.” And what we know from God’s Word is that the way that He speaks to us today is through His Son, and this is His Son, the Word of God. And so just to give you an example, I would probably, if I’m listening to the Lord, if I’m trying to hear from the Lord, I’m going to go here and I will just read.

One of my favorites is Psalm chapter one. So I’ll just be reading “How happy is the one who does not walk in the advice of the wicked.”

(00:27:48):

“Lord, would you please help my boys not to walk in the way of the wicked today.”

“Or stand in the pathway with sinners.” “Lord, would you please keep them from a pathway with sinners? I pray that they wouldn’t even want to be there. Not that they don’t just redirect them, but Lord, would you do the work in their hearts so that they don’t even want to be there?”

“Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction, and he meditates on it.” “Lord, would you help my sons to love your law, to love your instruction? And would you bring it to mind whenever they need it throughout the day?”

So it’s like a responsive reading, if you will. I’m reading through the Word and I’m just, I can’t help but pray it back to the Lord. I constantly think of things, “Lord, would you do this in my kids” or even in my husband or whoever I’m praying for? But oftentimes that’s how I listen to the Lord and pray for my kids.

Stacey (00:28:41):

Yeah, that’s good.

Dave:

That’s so good. I mean, I am guessing there are parents listening that have never done what you just did. They’re like, “Wow, that’s a way to pray.”

Ann (00:28:51):

Or even take the time just to set your timer. What a good idea. “I’m just going to sit here, and God give me, bring any thoughts to mind.” And I know that when I’ve done both of those, when I bring the scripture, it’s a reminder, this is who God is, and I can trust Him with our boys. And even when I’m just listening, you just feel that God’s delight in our children, how much He loves and cares for them. And it’s such a reminder in the Word like, “Oh yeah, He cares about them more than I do. I can trust Him because He loves them more than we do.”

Brooke (00:29:26):

Well, and He’s going to do it. He’s going to do it. His Word says His word is living and active, and it has the ability to divide the heart. It’s not like another history book. It is a history book, but it’s not like any other book out there. But also, it’s not going to return void. Now, it may not do exactly what I want it to do in the hearts of my boys, but God is going to accomplish what He wants to do through His Word in their lives.

Ann:

That’s good.

Brooke:

So that’s a really faith building thing for me too.

Ann:

That’s really helpful.

Dave (00:29:56):

Alright, back to the game. Here’s another question. Your teenager doesn’t want to talk and says, “Leave me alone.” Why? What’s going on?

Brooke (00:30:07):

They’re hurt or humiliated.

Stacey (00:30:13):

Or I would even say they’re just weary. They’re tired. I mean, our kids are so busy. They have so much coming out of them. One of the things I think, especially for girls as we think about just kind of the harshness that sometimes they can take off, that mean girl kind of thing, I think even just giving our kids space to recover

(00:30:31):

from their day and all that they have coming out, the expectations, the work, the school, the social media, their friends, all that’s coming at them. Part of when I hear my girls say, “I don’t want to talk,”—and my girls, some of them are talkers and some of them are less so. Some of them are more extroverted, and some of them I have to really draw out. But if they don’t want to talk, it’s usually because they need to recover. They need to think on their own, and then they’ll eventually circle back, or I’ll feel like I have an option or an opportunity to kind of lean in a little bit. But it’s usually because they need some time on their own by themselves. Yes, in their room with the door shut. Yes, with their earphones on. It’s that they need a little bit of recovery time. They’re not ready to process with me.

Ann (00:31:15):

Will there be a point that you’ll come back? You’re both shaking your head yes.

Stacey (00:31:20):

And it’s different for each kid for sure. Sometimes I have to go knocking. Sometimes I’m like, “I got cookies in the kitchen, want to help?” Or we’re driving—again, back to the driving where we’re side to side also works with girls. I think it works with boys too, but with my girls, a lot of that time is we’re driving down the road, and we’ll have a conversation, and I may be like, “Hey, last week I kind of noticed this” or “Yesterday and How are you doing?” That sort of thing. Almost always go back and check.

Ann (00:31:51):

That’s good. And I think that’s important because as parents, we can get our feelings hurt and so we can pull away, especially if you’re a parent that avoids conflict, so we can pull away instead of pursuing them at some point when they’re ready. You’re shaking your head too.

Brooke (00:32:07):

Yeah, absolutely. I think it’s honoring of them, especially as they get to the older side of the teenage years. I know their brains are not fully developed until they’re 24 or 25 years old. That’s a real thing. And unfortunately, the part of the brain that is not fully developed is the one that helps them make good decisions and handle their emotions, and that’s why God gave them parents. All of that is really important. But I do think that we as mothers and as fathers as well, I think we have to begin honoring our children and giving them the space to try to figure some things out on their own. Because the goal when they leave our home is that they’ll be able to handle what life throws at them, and we know they’ll still need us. I’m 47 years old and I called my dad last week and said, “Hey, Dad, what do you think about this?”

(00:32:55):

I mean, that’s just a part of it, but we need to give them the space to begin to develop those muscles that help them process. And also, I think it’s okay for our kids to have boundaries with us and to say they will process things different ways. Like Stacey said, I have one that’s a talker and I have one that it takes him a while. He will talk to me, but on his terms. And so I need to give them space to be who they are, to let their brains work the way that God designed them, and to give them time to strengthen the muscles of how do I handle this? And then come in and help shape and define that if I need to.

Ann (00:33:33):

That’s really good. And I like what you said earlier about knowing each of our kids. Our oldest son was an introvert. This is before the Myers-Briggs and all that stuff. Dave and I are both extroverted, and so he would come home from school and go upstairs and close his bedroom door. I’m like—

Brooke:

“What did we do?”

Ann:

—”What in the world? What is happening right now?”

Dave (00:33:51):

She said to me one day, “He’s up there building a bomb. I know he is.”

Ann:

Because he’s super smart.

Dave:

That’s what he’s doing. He’s so smart. He’s probably putting this thing together. I’m like, “He’s just”—

Ann (00:34:00):

I’m like “Who would want to just go upstairs and be by themself?” And then, exactly. And then I started reading and we had a friend who is a counselor. He goes, “Oh, he’s an introvert. He’s recharging his battery.” I’m like, “What!”

Brooke (00:34:10):

Yeah, it’s a thing. It’s a real thing. I am an introvert. My educational background is also in counseling. So I have learned over the years that needing time alone is not a want. It’s a need. And if I don’t actually do it, if I don’t prioritize it, my body will start to shut down and make it happen for me. I’ll get a headache, or my stomach will hurt such that I actually physically have to remove myself for a little while to get some alone time that I need. I always tell people that.

Ann (00:34:40):

Yeah, it’s so important as parents to know that. I know that when he would go to church retreats, we would have to sit down and have a plan and strategy because he was so overwhelmed. And then he’d get grumpy.

Brooke:

He was over peopled.

Ann:

Exactly. And so he would figure, and still as an adult, he’ll say, I just need some time to be alone. My life’s been too busy. But then we’ll have the son who’s like the verbal processor, comes home and everything, and still is like that. We hear every single detail of everything, and I’m loving that. And Dave’s like, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t know a boy could have so many words.”

Brooke (00:35:16):

But your introvert, his need to be away is not a rejection of you.

Ann (00:35:20):

Exactly.

Brooke (00:35:21):

And I think as parents sometimes we look at their needs, and we see them as a rejection of us, and it’s not that way.

Stacey:

We take it personal.

Ann (00:35:29):

Yeah.

Brooke (00:35:29):

That’s good.

Dave (00:35:30):

Yeah. You want to say to us parents, it’s not about us. It never has been.

Stacey (00:35:32):

Yeah. Perhaps that’s why we have children. We had to learn. We had to learn that.

Dave (00:35:40):

I tell you what, if there was one thing that brought us together when our kids were teenagers, it was prayer. What parent doesn’t need God to help them raise teenagers?

Ann (00:35:51):

We want to help you if you’re going through great things with your teens and hard things with your teens.

Dave (00:35:57):

So we’ve got a prayer guide to help you pray for your teens. You can go to FamilyLife.com/prayforteens and download the prayer guide.

Ann (00:36:04):

It’s a free download too.

Dave (00:36:06):

Again, FamilyLife.com/prayforteens.

Ann (00:36:12):

Alright, here’s another question. Your teen knocks on your bedroom door at night. What’s it about?

Brooke (00:36:19):

He wants to share what he’s done that day. He wants to share the cool thing that happened to him that day, and I’m so grateful for that. I don’t like to stay up super late, and my husband gets up really early, so sometimes our teens will come in and get down beside the bed and whisper to me, but it gets louder and louder. But so I mean, what an honor—

Ann:

It’s so fun.

Brooke:

—that they want to come and tell me about the good things that have happened in their life that day. I’ll never say no to that.

Stacey (00:36:48):

Well, mine’s a little bit more comical. We have four daughters and two bathrooms, and typically if they’re knocking on the door, it’s because the sister is in the bathroom and they need to use the restroom. That’s typically, or they’re afraid of something. That’s the other option. But it’s normally, “I need to use your bathroom.” That’s a hundred percent true for our family. Typical, very stereotypical. But yeah, they need some space.

Ann (00:37:11):

So as with teenagers, Dave and I started staying up later because it’s the time they’d talk, and so we’re night people anyway, so that was easy for us. We’re not morning people, but man—

Dave (00:37:25):

Food.

Ann (00:37:26):

Food at the table. And then the island is, I loved what you said too, Stacey, of if you want them bring some food. And especially with boys, Brooke, when they would come home from something, if I had a bunch of food on the island or in the kitchen—

Brooke:

They linger.

Ann:

They linger. And girls do that too.

Stacey (00:37:43):

Yeah. Yeah, they actually do. They do eat—people, I know stereotypically they’ll say to boy moms, “Oh my goodness, I can’t imagine your food bill.” But I’m like, “Listen, girls eat too. We eat differently, but we do.” Food is a love language. And one of the things that we’ve done as a family, and it’s just interesting to me is we’ve just always done family dinner. It’s just been part of our rhythm. And I’ve been surprised recently. My girls have come home, different girls and said, “Other people don’t do that.” It’s just not a priority for different reasons, and it doesn’t have to be supper or whatever, but just consistently. They were surprised that we held onto this very traditional model, and it was usually survival. It was like, it’s cheaper to feed everybody all at once. I can get my eyeballs on you. We can have a little bit of a conversation, but I’ve been a little bit surprised by that. But our family, we love a good meal. We love all the things. Girls do snack. They do take them into the rooms. All those things are definitely true too.

(00:38:46):

Food is a love language.

Ann:

Have you guys done that, especially with sports and baseball?

Brooke (00:38:47):

No, we have not. And I would like to say that we had, but that has not been our reality. But what we have tried to do is work very hard to have consistent touchpoints throughout the week.

Ann (00:39:02):

Connections.

Brooke (00:39:03):

It has not been a sit-down dinner every night. I wish we could have. Also, I hate to cook so—I can cook. I just don’t like to, so whatever. But we have Sunday, every Sunday after church, we have dinner with my parents. Every Wednesday evening we have dinner out together. There are these connection points that even our oldest son who is home from college this summer, he just fits back into that rhythm. He knows Sunday after church, we’re going out to dinner with Nana and Gagi. On Wednesday we’re having dinner as a family, and we try, and they do a decent job of it. They both work over the summer, so they’re not always a hundred percent available, but they do try to fit all the rest of their stuff around those touch points. And let me tell you, the conversation is lively, and it is—sometimes my parents just sit there because they’re just sharing and sharing. But it’s wonderful. It’s a way to connect with them. So not every single night but certainly touch points.

Ann:

That’s good.

Brooke:

Yeah.

Dave (00:40:05):

Well, let’s talk. In both of your books, you start with Lord—you pray for yourself, what to pray for yourself. But it’s different.

Brooke:

It is.

Dave:

Boy mom, girl mom is different. So let’s talk about, we’ll do either one. In boy mom, it’s Lord, show me. In girl mom, it’s Lord, show me how to walk in humility. Is there a difference here? What’s going on?

Brooke (00:40:30):

I think there is a difference in what we’re saying, although I would never say don’t pray that to the exclusion of what I’m saying. For me, I have just realized—when we first started, you used the word desperation.

(00:40:44):

And that has themed most of my motherhood. I mentioned early on that God didn’t give me compliant boys. They didn’t. They aren’t. They weren’t. And so actually what happened is they were born 23 months apart and they kicked my feet out from under me. I’m an achiever. I’m a goal-oriented achiever. And they were the first project, if you will, that no amount of hard work on my part could produce exactly what I wanted because it wasn’t up to me. I’m not the one who changes hearts of stone to hearts of flesh, right? God is the one that does that. So it was a partnership, not the Brooke Show with her kids.

Ann:

Isn’t it so humbling?

Brooke:

It’s humbling and freeing at the same time.

(00:41:27):

If you can actually get that, then it’s very freeing to realize that God has only called me to do what he’s called me to do, and he gets to do the rest of it. And so I’m going to focus on that and just let him be God in my kids’ lives. But I was desperate for God to do something in my home. The whole reason I started praying for my kids was out of desperation. And so there are just so many things I don’t know. They will ask me questions, and I’ll be like, “I don’t know the answer to that.” There’s a time, especially in the young teenage years where they stop taking what you say at face value, and they want to know why. And they have big questions. And sometimes I know the answers and sometimes I don’t. And there really are so many things that my kids have encountered these days that I don’t know what the right answer is.

(00:42:14):

I feel like all of our kids are living in an entirely different age than we were. I didn’t have a phone in my pocket when I was growing up, and they have experiences that are wildly different than what I had growing up. And so I have just found myself in need almost constantly of God to say, “Lord, would you show me? Show me what I need to know. Show me what’s really happening here. Show me the behind the scenes, make the hidden things known. What is the right answer to this question?” I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I have thrown up a “Okay Lord, show me what I need to do here” while they’re talking to me about a situation. And the really cool part is that God says when you ask me for wisdom, I’ll give it to you.

Ann:

James 1.

Brooke:

Literally, liberally. I want to jump in the pool of God’s wisdom. And so I have just constantly prayed, “Lord, would you show me?” And it’s an act of dependence upon Him. It’s an act of open hands to Him. It’s communicating to my kids that I don’t know everything and that I need Jesus just as much as they do, which I think is a great thing for a mom to communicate to her kids. It’s been a posture of mine throughout our parenting just to admit that I really don’t know everything and that I need Jesus.

Ann (00:43:31):

I remember getting to the point where I’d be on my knees just like “God, I know nothing, nothing. I have nothing to give either.” And so it’s that desperation prayer. I think that most of us as parents hit that point at some point. And it’s a great place to be.

Brooke:

It is because when we are weak—

Dave (00:43:49):

Well, it’s easier now. It’s a great place to be. In the moment, it’s so—

Stacey (00:43:54):

Terrifying

Dave (00:43:55):

—exasperate, like you said, you’re desperate, you’re tired, maybe you’re crank—well, I’m cranky and I’ll say things I regret. It’s like you’re fried.

Ann (00:44:04):

So let me ask both of you, because I’m imagining both of you have prayed that show me God. And you’ve also written books. These books are on teenagers, but you’ve also written about just praying for your kids. Was that a prayer even when they were little? Or was it different?

Brooke (00:44:21):

I think it developed for me. I mean, I always wanted the Lord to lead me in my parenting. I think when our kids are little, we can control so much more, even just physically. When my boys were little, I could pick them up and put them where I wanted them. Now they pick me up and put me where they want me. That happens all the time. They’ll sneak up behind me and pick me up or whatever. And I love that. But I can’t control them physically anymore, not even close. And so I think as they began, as their problems got bigger—

Ann (00:44:55):

You needed more wisdom.

Brooke (00:44:56):

—I needed more wisdom.

Ann (00:44:57):

I think that’s true in terms of when they’re little. It’s almost like, give me the patience, give me the endurance—

Brooke (00:45:06):

This too shall pass me.

Ann (00:45:07):

—give me sleep. Yeah. It’s different because their needs become very different from when they were little.

Stacey (00:45:13):

Yeah, my pastor said one-time: little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems. And then also when you have little kids, you’re physically tired—

Ann:

So tired.

Stacey:

—just so strung out. You would pay someone to sleep on the floor, just “Let me sleep for five minutes.” When they’re bigger, it’s emotional and it takes on, no, also a physical aspect as well because we now know that emotional issues have physical expert—

(00:45:41):

It’s expressed physically, and so it’s all connected. But the emotional weight sometimes is even more so than just the physically. “Golly, if I could just have a nap today” or “If they would just quit saying, ‘Mom, mom, mom.’” It’s different but also hard. And so I think from just even listening to Brooke, of course I’ve prayed, “Lord, show me” in those moments. It’s such a great prayer. I would argue with Brooke that God had already taken her through the path of humility when they were little. And so she’d already kind of been in that position. Everything that she just described is a place of humility. For me it has to do with the fact that in my prayer, my prayer relationship with the Lord, He’s changing me. It’s about transformation. And so when I come to the Lord, I’m like, “Hey, here’s the issue. Here’s what I need you to change. Here’s what I need you to fix. And my girls, they’re not doing this and they’re not whatever.” And God is saying, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. We got to work on you first.” And if you’re not willing to go first, how can you expect or how can you pray for your girls to be strong and soft and patient and kind and all these things? How can you pray for them to have great friendships if you’re not showing up. He wants to do business with me first.

Ann (00:46:52):

That’s the humility part.

Stacey (00:46:53):

That’s the humility part. And if I don’t put myself in that position, how can I expect Him to do that in their lives too? I need to model it first.

Ann (00:47:02):

That’s really good.

Stacey (00:47:03):

I’m such a work in progress. So when we started these projects, we both felt strongly that we needed to have a place for moms, parents, grandmas to pray for their own hearts because we get running down the track of all the issues that they have. But God’s like, “No, you’re my daughter and I need you to know that these things need to change first.”

Brooke (00:47:19):

And we forget that. We forget. We get wrapped up in being so-and-so’s mom or so-and-so’s mom and sometimes forget, I’m a daughter of the king. I have a relationship with Christ that needs to be nurtured, and I don’t always get things right and I need the Lord to correct me. And like you said, we have to go first in that.

Ann (00:47:37):

And I think that’s true in marriage too. It feels like we often are looking at our kids or our spouse, what they need to do to change. We’re praying for them. And God, every day through his word, pulls up the mirror and like—

Brooke:

We’re actually the problem.

Ann:

Yes, exactly, humbling.

Stacey:

It’s actually us.

Dave (00:47:55):

I mean, how does—I’m sitting over here, the only guy in the room. How does your husbands interact in these areas? Coach us up even or model. Are they doing a good job? Is it your partner? Do they step in and take over sometimes? I mean, how do we as men partner with our wives as moms to pray for our kids?

Brooke (00:48:19):

I think one of the things that we started doing early, actually before we were even married, when we were engaged, my husband and I were living several hours apart the year before we got married. And we would call in the morning before we both went to work. And I would pray for him every morning before he went to work and then he would pray for me.

Ann (00:48:41):

That’s so sweet.

Brooke (00:48:42):

That is a habit that we have kept for 23, 24 years now. Every time he goes to work, I pray for him. And then when our boys were old enough, we started drawing them into that as well. And as the mom, I started saying to my children, “Hey Max, would you pray for dad today?” Or “Sam, would you pray for dad today?” Because I was trying to, in a small way, give them some leadership in that. This is what a man does. Would you cover your dad before he goes to work? I didn’t always get it right, but I wanted whenever I could to try to treat them like men, even if they weren’t old enough to be men. And I freely admit that I didn’t always get it right, but it was my goal to do that. And so now when we gather to pray over my husband, I often don’t even pray. They just come up, and they start praying. They’re 18 and 20 years old, and if they’re home when their dad leaves, we gather and we pray in the kitchen. And somewhere along that line, my husband joined in as well. And we’ve just tried to make prayer this really normal thing that we do in our family.

(00:49:56):

And it’s normal to my husband. Praying out loud is normal to us. That’s something that I know people struggle with is sometimes if prayer hasn’t been normal for you, you might struggle to pray out loud. I always tell people, I just want to gently suggest that you get over that because as parents, it’s really important that we model a language of prayer to our kids. The reason people don’t know how to pray is because they haven’t heard other people pray. And so my husband and I wanted to give them a language of prayer so that they even knew what to say when they needed to go to the Lord. So for us, it’s very much been a family thing where we just tried to make it as normal and as routine as we possibly could.

Dave (00:50:43):

Okay, I got to ask you this.

Ann (00:50:45):

This is amazing by the way.

Dave (00:50:47):

I’m like, this family sounds spectacular. And Stacey, I want to hear your thoughts too, but I got to stop.

Stacey (00:50:53):

I think they’re spectacular.

Dave (00:50:54):

Something you said earlier that is very rare, I think. You treat your boys like men before they were men.

Brooke (00:51:01):

Yeah.

Dave (00:51:02):

I think, again, I’m a guy over here. From my perspective, I think sometimes that’s hard for women and for moms to do, even with their husbands. We just, Ann’s book just came out. I often felt like she “momed” me. There were times she’s telling me what do or critiquing and whatever. I’m like—

Ann:

Me?

Dave:

No, no husband wants to be married to his mom, but often you, that mother, and it’s not a bad thing, but there’s this motherly instinct, “You should do this,” “Why aren’t you doing this?” “You’re changing his diaper like that,” and a lot of us guys, we walk out of the room, we’re like, “Okay, obviously I’m clueless. You’re better than me.” So often we don’t feel like we’re treated like men. We’re treated like boys. So this is a thing for guys. So when you said that I’m like, “Wow, that’s a big deal.” I remember when Ann and I started dating, one of the first things I noticed about her dad, who was my high school coach, so I knew him.

Ann (00:51:56):

Who wasn’t a Christian.

Dave (00:51:57):

But immediately—nobody had ever done this—he treated me like a man when I was still a boy. And I was like, “He wants my opinion. He respects me.” I was so drawn to that. So when a mom does that, we as men are, you see something good in me even that I don’t see yet. You’re treating me almost like I’m older than I really am. So I don’t know, I just want to, is that something you intentionally decided I’m going to do? Is that sort of natural?

Brooke (00:52:24):

Yeah, it is something that I intentionally decided to do. I don’t remember where I got it from. I honestly don’t know if it was an original thought or if I read it from somebody else. I don’t remember but it was an intentional thing. And as I said, I did not get it right and I still at 18 and 20, I don’t always get it right. If they were here, they would, I’m sure give you lots of ways that I got that wrong or continue to get it wrong. But I did. I even called them, I would say, and some people take offense to this, the phrase, I need you to man up, or I need you to be a man. And I think it can maybe be used incorrectly or in a wrong way. But for me, I was trying to ask them to look at the world a certain way, and I was trying to hold out a level of excellence that says, this is what a man does, this is what I need you to do, and I need you to live up to this. Not down to everybody else’s standards, but up to what God says a man actually is.

Ann (00:53:23):

Well, that part of asking your kids to pray out loud is really a big game changer. It’s teaching them to pray. And I remember, I mean, our kids were little, and I would say, “Hey, I’m doing this tomorrow. Will you pray for me? Because your prayers are really powerful.” And I remember they were little like seven, five even. And I remember one of them saying, “You think my prayers are powerful?” I’m like, “Absolutely.” But I love—we always prayed before they would go to school, before their day. But I like the idea of praying for each other. That’s cool.

Brooke (00:54:00):

It’s a—we’re a team. We are a sports family, so I can’t help but think in terms of team, but we are a team, and we are on the same team. We are on the same side. Even though, if I’m honest, sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, but we are. And so anything we can do to help them to huddle, “Huddle up, guys. Let’s remember who we are.”

Dave (00:54:24):

It is interesting. I never thought of this before. When you say we’re on a team, as an NFL chaplain for all these years, you know what every NFL team does before you go on the field?

Brooke (00:54:33):

They say the Lord’s Prayer. Is that what it is?

Dave (00:54:34):

Usually the Lord’s prayer. And sometimes the coach would say—different coaches, “Dave, will you pray this? Lead the team.” Why are they doing that? In the context of sports, it’s like this game is a battle and we’re sort of going into something really significant, and so we want the Lord to go with us. When you’re saying that, I was like, every day is a battle in a family. Why wouldn’t you say, well, if teams can pray it before a stupid football game or a baseball game, why wouldn’t we as a family say, “Hey, we’re going to work today. We’re going to school today. This is a battle. There’re big things going on.” I’m not saying pray the Lord’s prayer but pray like you guys did. Wow.

Ann (00:55:08):

Let me ask you, Stacey, as parents are listening, they’re like, “We’ve never done any of this.” How would they start that now with a teenager? What could that look like?

Stacey (00:55:18):

Yeah, and Brooke talks about this very well, so I’ll probably just borrow from her. It’s just having an honest conversation, especially if you feel like, “Oh my goodness, I’m starting. I’m so far behind.” You’re not behind. Because even if you’re just listening to this and this is all new to you and you’re like, “I’ve never thought of that,” you can start at any time and it may start with—well, here’s what I would say. I would say start praying first. You start first. You go first and then have on a very honest conversation with your teenagers or your husband or your family and say, “Hey, I realize I haven’t done this because I didn’t know. Now I know and I really want this to be part of our family. I know this might feel weird, but I just want you to know that I’m going to pray for you and here’s what I’m praying.”

(00:55:56):

And just let them know and just say, “But I’d love for you to pray with me too and I can pray for you. And maybe someday you’d feel comfortable doing that back and forth, but it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything,” and you just start. You can fumble your way through that. There’s no right or wrong way. And people always say, “Is there a wrong way to pray?” No, it’s just having a conversation with the Lord. It’s just pouring out your heart and talking to Him about your day and asking Him and praising Him and thanking Him. And I think if you start that, I’m not saying it’ll be easy because what happens when we take those steps is the enemy shows up and goes, “You’re too busy. They’re going to think you’re weird and you don’t have time. And you’re praying, do you know, remember what you did yesterday?

(00:56:40):

How do you have the right choice?” So the enemy’s going to come at you for sure if you say, “I want this to be part of our family culture.” But you do it anyway and you do it, and you say, “Hey, I know that I haven’t done this well, but I really want this to be part, maybe it from here on out and I’ll try not to make it weird, but if it’s weird, let’s just go with it.” That kind of thing. And you just own it, and you take steps, baby steps.

What I love about these books—which I wish I had had, I wish I had these when I was first starting to raise teenagers over 12 years ago. I’ve had teenage daughter in my house for almost 13 years. I mean, that’s a lot. That’s a long time.

Dave (00:57:13):

That’s a long time.

Stacey (00:57:14):

—is that these are scripted and they’re prayer scripted. So scripture scripted—I can say that 10 times fast—is that you can just turn to a page and say, “Okay, I’m going to pray this.” And you can just read it.

Dave (00:57:23):

And they’re not super long.

Stacey (00:57:26):

They’re very short. They’re very short. You can text it to them. Even if you start with saying, “Hey, I started a new thing this week. I’m praying for you. Here’s what I’m praying for you.”

Ann (00:57:32):

Oh, that’s sweet.

Stacey (00:57:33):

And I think they may think, “Oh, my mom’s off her rocker” or “My dad’s weird,” whatever. But I would be willing to bet that they’ll notice God moving in their life and they’ll come back around and go, “Hey, you know that thing you prayed for? Actually I did really well on that test.” Or “I had a good conversation with my friend,” or “I felt more at peace today.” They will start noticing it because I think the Lord wants that for our kids.

Ann (00:57:58):

And I’ll add, we have this great gift as moms and dads to pray for our kids’ friends.

(00:58:06):

I mean, our youngest is now 34, and some of his friends have moved back and they live in our area. This makes me cry thinking about it. And they will remember times that I put my hand on them and prayed over them, and they were in a public school in high school, and one guy said, “Mrs. Wilson, when you prayed for me before my track meet, every time you put your hand on me, that meant the world to me. And I started looking for Jesus after that.” And kids that aren’t even Christians, like, “Oh my gosh,” just to say, “that must be so hard, I’m going to start praying for you.”

Brooke (00:58:42):

You don’t know what impact you’re having on them.

Ann (00:58:45):

And even our kids would say, “Mom, so-and-so my friend wants your number”—and this happened a bunch too—”because they want to text you so that you’ll pray for them.” And I think our kids see that like, “Oh, this has been so common. This is what we do all the time at our house, but my friends are desperate for it too.” And they’re needy. They’re not even believers, but they know that “I need that,” and their parents maybe aren’t praying.

Dave (00:59:10):

In some ways we’ve said this, it’s just talking to God. It’s a natural thing, but in other ways it’s the most significant, intimate, powerful, spiritual thing we can ever do. We had a guy literally three or four days ago on our back deck, some dude that’s from a company that I said, Hey, I’m thinking about refurbishing my deck. So this guy shows up, never met him before, and Ann’s in the house and I’m back there and she didn’t want to come out. I was just like, we don’t even know if we’re going to do this. And this guy starts sharing a story and it’s horrific.

Ann (00:59:45):

When I come out.

Dave (00:59:46):

No, it was beforehand. Just tell me all the bad things have happened in his life. And it is funny; he had a Detroit Lions hat on. So I immediately said, “Hey, Detroit Lions.” Somehow found out I was chaplain for all these years, so he knew I was a minister type guy. And he says, “Me and the big guy upstairs aren’t on good terms,” and he listed a number of things that have gone wrong in his life, and they’re terrible.

Ann (01:00:09):

Horrific.

Dave (01:00:10):

They’re terrible. Most people would’ve cursed God and said, “I just want to die.”

Ann:

That the son, father, uncle.

Dave:

Everything. There were one, then two, and I’m like, “This can’t be. All of these things have happened to the same guy.” And so at some point I go inside and I go, “You got to come out and meet this guy.” Ann’s like, “Okay.” I go, “I don’t know. There’s just a reason you need to come out on this deck.” And she comes out, and we start talking. I bet it’s 20 minutes and “Me and the big guy,” and there was this spiritual desire. You could feel it in him, I want to believe, but it’s hard to believe. So at the end of the day, we put our arms on him. Could we pray for you? And we both prayed.

Ann (01:00:49):

I bet that’s never happened to him.

Dave (01:00:50):

Oh, I don’t know. But you didn’t even know this. I got an email last night from him.

Ann (01:00:56):

Wow.

Dave (01:00:57):

And basically, he said, “I don’t know what happened when you prayed for me.” He goes, “I’ve cried 15 times since you prayed for me. Thank you so much.”

Brooke (01:01:07):

Praise the Lord.

Dave (01:01:07):

“I need to talk to you more. I hope I’m not a bother. I feel like even said, I never put a Detroit Lion’s hat on. I put it on that morning because I couldn’t find my right hat. And that hat sparked something. And here we are.” And I’m like, it just reminded me of the power of praying for someone, whether it’s your kids, which obviously we’re talking about, it’s a powerful thing. It is conversational, natural, and it’s no big deal, but it is.

Ann (01:01:35):

It’s to a God who hears us and loves us.

Brooke:

Bends down to listen.

Dave (01:01:38):

So I mean, I’m thinking of the moms and dads and parents that are going to pray for their kids because of what we talked about today. And hopefully, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, pick up the book and get it.

Ann:

Both books.

Dave:And again, it gives you sample prayers if you think “I can’t do this,” yeah, you can.

Stacey (01:01:56):

We’ll walk with you.

Ann:

And it’s going to be fun too because we’re going to interview both of you individually and that will be fun to get deeper into your book.

Dave (01:02:05):

But we have to end this way. One or both of you need to pray.

Stacey (01:02:09):

I will nominate Brooke because one of my favorite things is to hear Brooke pray.

Dave:

Really?

Brooke:

Oh gosh, yeah, no pressure.

Dave (01:02:17):

I’m thinking, pray for the moms of boys and daughters and really dads too. And we got blended families. We’ve got single parents. My mom was a single parent. I never heard a parent pray out loud until I got to college and became a follower. And when we’re driving to my first speaking engagement ever as quarterback in the campus Ball State, Indiana.

Stacey (01:02:38):

Isn’t it great Indiana school?

Dave (01:02:39):

And so I remember this guy saying, “Hey, we’re going to pray that God”—I’m like, “What do you mean you’re going to pray while you’re driving?” And he just starts talking to God. I’m looking over like people do this. I have never seen it. And you’ve raised kids that see it every single day. That’s beautiful. Thanks. So would you pray?

Brooke (01:02:55):

I would.

Lord, thank you so much for being the God who bends down to listen. I know that’s a verse that’s so precious to both Stacey and I; that you are not a God who is up in heaven wondering what’s happening in the lives and hearts of the moms and dads who are listening right now. You’re not far off, clueless or surprised by what they’re going through. Your posture toward them is bent over listening and seeing. And I just pray, Father, that everyone who is listening to this show today, Father, would above all things feel seen by you. Maybe they’ve heard Stacey, or I say something today and they’re like, “Oh my goodness. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m experiencing.” That they would feel seen or known, not just by us, but by You; that you’re the God that made them and that you made them the mother or father of their children on purpose.

(01:03:51):

They may be wrapped up in all of their weaknesses right now, Lord. They may have fiery darts of the enemy that are just being thrown at them saying, “You can’t do this. You’re messing them up. It’s too late. You’ve ruined everything. God is not big enough to handle this.” There’s so many fiery darts that we as parents have to beat away with the truth. But I pray, Lord, that that is what they would do; that they would choose to stand in your truth and that they would be praying moms and dads. Lord, the enemy is coming for our kids. So the question really is, do we want the enemy to come for our kids with a praying mom or without a praying mom? And so Father, I believe and pray that you’re going to move in the hearts of moms who are under the sound of this today, Lord, and that you’re going to raise up a generation of moms who are going to pray and that you are going to do amazing generational work in the hearts of your kids. That’s what we’re asking for, Lord. We want to get moms praying because it is going to change hearts and minds and entire life trajectories for You to do that. So Lord, would you do that work?

(01:05:03):

Would you do that in the ones that we’re serving today? And would you continue to use us and grow us into the men and women that you want us to be? In Jesus name, amen.

Ann (01:05:15):

Amen. That was a great prayer and thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. And again, Praying for Teen Boys.

Dave (01:05:22):

Praying for Teen Girls.

Ann (01:05:23):

Praying for Teen Girls. Click the link in the show notes. We’d love for you to follow us. If you’re watching, subscribe, hit the bell to get notifications and we would love you to be our partners. You guys, this has been amazing. Thank you. I can’t wait to talk more.

Brooke:

Thank you.

Ann:

Hey, thanks for watching, and if you liked this episode—

Dave (01:05:44):

You better like it.

Ann (01:05:45):

—just hit that like button.

Dave (01:05:46):

And we’d like you to subscribe. So all you got to do is go down and hit the subscribe—I can’t say the word subscribe. Hit the subscribe button. I don’t think I can say this word.

Ann:

Like and subscribe.

Dave:

Look at that. You say it so easy. Subscribe. There it goes.

FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife®, a Cru® Ministry.

Helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.

If you’ve benefited from the FamilyLife Today transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs of producing them and making them available online?

Copyright © 2025 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

www.FamilyLife.com