FamilyLife Today® Ruth Chou Simons: When Strivings Cease

When Strivings Cease: Ruth Chou Simons

December 16, 2024
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Is self-improvement wrong? Join Ruth Chou Simons as she discusses the dangers of striving and the freedom found in God’s grace. Learn how to replace the gospel of self-improvement with the gospel of life-transforming grace.

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When Strivings Cease: Ruth Chou Simons
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    About the Guest

    Photo of Ruth Chou Simons

    Ruth Chou Simons

    Ruth Chou Simons is a Wall Street Journal bestselling and award-winning author of several books and Bible studies, including GraceLaced, Beholding and Becoming, and When Strivings Cease. She is an artist, entrepreneur, podcaster, and speaker, using each of these platforms to spiritually sow the Word of God into people’s hearts. Through social media, her online shoppe at GraceLaced.com, and the GraceLaced Collective community, Simons shares her journey of God’s grace intersecting daily life with word and art. Ruth and her husband, Troy, are grateful parents to six boys—their greatest adventure.

    Episode Transcript

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    When Strivings Cease

    Guest:Ruth Chou Simons

    From the series:When Strivings Cease (Day 1 of 2)

    Air date:December 16, 2024

    Ruth:When strivers, like me and you, if we want to know rest, we have to start with: “Who is God?” Because if we believe that God is God, and we are not, that’s the only time you can actually physically rest, mentally rest, spiritually rest; because Jesus actually paid the penalty for our sin that we can rest from striving to get ourselves good enough for God.

    Dave:Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Dave Wilson.

    Ann:And I’m Ann Wilson, and you can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com. This is FamilyLife Today.

    Dave:So I didn’t know it when we got married—I should have known it—I should have seen this.

    Ann:Oh, no; the secrets are coming out!

    Dave:Well, I mean, I just didn’t know how you strive. In one sense it was one of the most attractive things ever—you don’t do anything halfway—you give everything you got. You pushed me: I remember I was in the weight room after rehabbing my knee; and I’m thinking, “That’s my third knee surgery. Maybe, I’m done.” And you’re like: “Get over there!” and “Get on the weight!” I’m like, “Wow! No girlfriend’s ever told me that. They’re like, ‘Why do you play football? It seems stupid.’ You were like: ‘You’re going to do something.’”

    Ann:Wait, I’m waiting for the shoe to drop; because you said, “In one sense..”

    Dave:I mean, that’s the beauty. The other sense is you’re rarely satisfied; and you’re always feeling like: “I didn’t do good enough,” “I should have done better,” “I could have done better.” And I’m like, “Are you kidding me?! You are amazing!”

    Ann:And I was amazed that you didn’t have that. I thought everybody has that—they had that inner striving—that I just thought everybody carried that. You were like—you would do something—and you’re like: “That felt really good.” And I’m: “Wait! What?! You’re not second guessing. You’re not playing around in your head, or you don’t feel this need to perform?” You’re like, “Nope! I did the best I could.” That was super attractive to me because I had never seen it.

    Dave:Well, I’m wondering if Ruth, sitting over there, is a striver.

    Ruth:Oh, I’m listening to this, and I’m like, “Wow; Troy is Dave, and you are me; like it was so similar. Troy doesn’t struggle with that at all—he can rest; he’s not struggling with thinking a million thoughts about what other people think of him—whereas, I’m overanalyzing.”

    Ann:Me, too, Ruth.

    .

    Ruth:Yes; “Did they notice that one look on my face?” “Do I need to go help them understand that look better?—because I got to take that face back.” I’m overanalyzing everything.

    Ann:Yes; and you’re hearing—this is Ruth Chou Simons who’s with us today—and we’re talking about striving in your book, When Strivings Cease.

    Dave:And we will get there. But right there—the title—I’m like, “Do they cease for you two?” Because for me, “Yeah”; but for you two, it doesn’t sound. I’ll read your subtitle: Replacing the Gospel of Self-Improvement with the Gospel of Life-Transforming Grace. That’s the conversation we’re going to have today.

    Ann:Lean in right now everybody, because we’re going to be talking about some really deep truths of Scripture; but also, how this can relate to our lives to be free.

    Dave:So where do you want to start, Ruth? Do you want to start with: “How the striving started”; or “Do they cease?” You pick.

    Ruth:How about we start with some definitions?—because here’s the thing: when you describe striving as working hard; and having goals; and being diligent, hardworking, even a little perfectionistic, those are not bad traits to have. We should—

    Dave:—those are godly.

    Ann: You want those people on your team.

    Ruth:Exactly! You don’t want somebody who’s like, “Good enough.” You don’t want a surgeon, who’s like: “I guess that works,” “That’s good enough. I mean, I hope that knee stays together.”

    Dave:“Let’s close him up; I think it’ll work.”

    Ruth:You want that person to be a perfectionist; you want that person to be like, “I will not quit until it’s perfect.” So yeah, you’d really like to have that neurosurgeon, or whoever it is, be a striver: striving for the best.

    When it goes south, and when it’s not healthy, is when striving is something, where we are anxious and manipulating; and we’re constantly trying to make things work, and fixing our problems so that we can get something that we don’t trust God for. That’s what I really mean by striving here.

    Ann:We both go, “Oh!”

    Ruth:So let me just say that again. What I define as striving “in our own strength” is trying to reach for something—manipulate to get something, or kind of anxiously toiling and running the hamster wheel of human effort to try to get something, or achieve something for yourself—that you don’t quite trust God for.

    Ann:Alright; “Where was that for you in your life?” and “Did you recognize it, or was that just part of normal living for you?”

    Ruth:Well, I don’t think I truly understood the part where I actually could work hard, but unto God and with His strength, not until I was saved. All my life, just growing up between—I was born in Taiwan; I grew up in an Asian American/a Chinese home—and then, I came to the United States and had my Western culture.

    Both, in the Asian culture and the Western culture, there were ways in which you prove yourself: you seek approval, whether it was through academics with one side of my culture; or through appearances on the Western side. I mean, it was a whole lot of pressure to measure up/a whole lot of pressure to [in Asian culture]:

    be the best,

    be the smartest,

    be the prettiest.

    “Don’t be disappointing”:

    ‘If you’re a good daughter, good daughters do these things…’

    ‘If you’re a good student, good student do these things…’

    Or in my very Western world, it was:

    “Well, you don’t have a boyfriend by this age? If you were actually pretty and great, then the boys would like you.”

    So there’s all sorts of ways in which we measure ourselves. And quite frankly, I grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s; and wearing Guess® and Jordache® was actually a big deal—so I’ll just throw that in there—there were brands involved. There were all sorts of ways in which there’s pressure to measure up and be cool, and we all understand that.

    But for me it was deeper than that. I think some aspects of it was coming to a new country, learning the English language.

    Ann:I got to say I’m still shocked you didn’t know any English when you came over. How old were you?

    Ruth:I know; it was not until I was like five did I even learn how to communicate in English. Which is shocking to me that I speak and write in English for a living. But honestly, I think there’s also a reason why sometimes it’s intimidating for me; because it wasn’t my heart language. I didn’t think in English or pray in English until after I was in college. Isn’t that strange?

    Dave: Really?

    Ruth:That’s what happens with a native tongue and heart languages: you think in your native tongue.

    To tell my story is to say everybody’s story is different. But with me, I could tell that, not only was I striving to fit in a new country with new friends/with peers, but also, there was this innate sense of: “I’m not going to be loved unless I measure up.” And I think there were other factors that were contributing to it. I grew up in a community, where lots of people talked like: “Oh, So-and-so got into Stanford,” or “Oh, she plays three instruments,” or “Oh, well, why did you get a B if you could get an A?” There was just a lot of that kind of pressure, really, in my childhood home. My parents were not believers until I was in high school, and they did the very best they knew how at the time.

    But I remember a specific very life—I won’t say “altering”; but just it was a very formational—moment in my life. I was raised around a father who didn’t talk very much. He didn’t communicate very much with me; he didn’t emote; he didn’t share a lot. He was kind of a head-down, hardworking immigrant man, and kind; and certainly, loved his family. I was your typical teenage girl, who wanted to chat and talk a lot. I was going to school at this lovely college prep school, where I had a scholarship. But teenage girls come home—and I’m not talking about school—I’m talking about who likes who; and how: “So-and-so was lying about something.” I had a lot of social angst that I wanted to talk about.

    I came home, and I still remember just chatting and going on and on about this. My dad wasn’t looking at me, and wasn’t responding. I was really baring my heart and sharing some really—now, I look back—I think vulnerable parts of my life, saying: “I don’t feel pretty,” “I want to be liked, but nobody chooses me.” It was just a lot of those kinds of things that I was just trying to verbalize in the safe place of home.

    My dad happened to be sitting there after dinner; and after a while, I realized he wasn’t looking at me; he wasn’t even paying attention. I don’t know if I just had eighth-grade girl kind of sass; but I just thought, “Well, I’m going to call out on this. I’m going to say something about it.” I just said, “You know, Dad, you just don’t ever respond to me when I talk to you”; because it kind of was a pattern. And I said, I’m telling you some really important things in my life, and you don’t look up; you don’t respond. Do you even care?” In my mind, if I could play this out, my fairytale mind wanted him to say, “Oh, honey; come and sit on my lap. Look, I’m so sorry; it’s been a long day. Come and sit on my lap. Tell me all the things; you’re so precious to me. I want to hear all the things.”

    He looked up, and said, “Well, you haven’t finished the dishes yet.” That was his response to me describing how hurt I felt. Now, listen, there’s a lot of reason—I mean, I did need to finish the dishes—I’m sure there was some part of that. All the parents nod and go, “Yeah, go finish the dishes”; we all get that. But I think what was so interesting about that moment was that there was a pattern of me feeling not seen and not cared for. And when I finally found the nerve to say, “Hey, I’m sharing something really important; and you’re not responding”; and his response was that I was disappointing in my follow-through of my work, I ended up inferring so much about my father and my heavenly Father. I started thinking, “What I do is more important than who I am,”—that I’m not worthy of being paid attention to unless I nail it and I get things right, or that I have to earn the right to be seen and to be paid attention to. You see, it’s not that it all happened in that one moment; but there was a cultural context to this.

    And then, it kind of came to a head in my teen years, when I was feeling all this need to be seen and known and loved, which we all do. I think, as it played out, I started realizing that, when I was ultimately introduced to Christ in my eighth-grade year, and going into ninth grade, I realized that I started seeing some of those patterns of thinking in my relationship with God, too; that God was more interested in me reading my Bible, or that I had to somehow strive to earn His favor: be really good; be perfect enough.

    I think it’s interesting that we don’t realize sometimes that our current actions—if you’re a striver, if you’re perfectionist, if you can’t be happy unless the pillows are fluffed just right and everything’s put away—those might seem like little quirks in personality; but if you trace them back, you kind of realize: “What is the root issue? What is the root thing that your soul is longing for?” And for me, I knew that it was/I could tell, ultimately, that what I was really looking for was to be loved, and accepted, and to have worth; but I was looking for it by trying to be amazing, do all the right things, and not be disappointing. I think we would all agree that it’s probably the most crushing feeling when you think you’re disappointing; and whether somebody says it to you or not; or you just feel it; or if you’re just really disappointed in yourself—that shame that sets in—where you kind of go.

    And here’s the thing with shame: guilt and shame are kind of different. If you feel guilty, it’s because you did something; and you can correct it. But shame is when you’re like, “I’ll never change; this is who I am.” And the disappointment in yourself—if not corrected with truth—is kind of that thing that kind of leaves you in this circle of shame, feeling like, “I can’t get out of this until I make myself so awesome that I’ll never be disappointing again.” Well, I feel so exhausted just even saying that out loud.

    Ann:That is very similar to my story, and it becomes this heavy burden that you carry that is exhausting.

    Ruth:—so exhausting.

    Ann:You don’t know my whole story—a lot of our listeners do—but I had a time where I had done really well at a gymnastics meet. I couldn’t wait to show my family. And when my dad saw it, he said—I had fourth place in all-around in gymnastics—

    Dave:—when nationally, it was a big deal.

    Ann:I had shared this pretty recently; but he said, “We are the Barons. Don’t come home unless you have a first place,”—so you have that—that’s performance. It’s not: “Come home and do your best,”—[but rather]—”We are the best,” “Be the best.”

    And then, couple that with a time at our dinner table with four siblings and my parents. I think I was in the second grade—third maybe—I wanted to share a story that happened at school. My dad, his heart was—I know his heart was good; he loved me; I knew all of that—but he put his hand on my leg; I sat beside him—he said, “Now is not your time; now is the time for your brother.” My heart is like, “Will I ever have a time to have my voice heard?” I needed to perform, to strive to be a perfectionist, to be the best to be noticed; because I wasn’t seen.

    When the Gospels presented that Jesus came to set the captive free, I was like, “I want that! I want to be set free from my sin. I want eternal life. I want to follow Jesus. But if He could take this yoke off of me, I want that, too.” But I didn’t know how to get rid of it; I didn’t know how to do it.

    Ruth:And we’re surrounded by a culture that’s constantly prescribing formulas for how to actually succeed at impressing everybody—

    Ann: —self-improvement.

    Ruth: Right. Here’s the thing—I always find it fascinating that the reason why we subscribe to the gospel/the false gospel of self-improvement—is that it actually kind works a little bit. We wouldn’t subscribe to something that’s completely dumb. It works a little bit; it actually does satisfy a little bit. In fact, if you wear the right clothes, you might actually garner the attention of somebody that you’re trying to impress; you might get ahead a little bit. But the thing is: if that’s the method in which you are achieving/acquiring approval and love, there’s no end. You will keep on striving—you’ll be in the hamster wheel of: “I got to keep improving on myself. I got to even be ‘better than’ because I’ll never be the best unless I conquer every single thing,”—and so it is a hamster wheel; it never ends.

    I think about the reason why I said in the definition, at the very beginning, that striving—“It’s anxiously trying to achieve or acquire something for yourself that you don’t quite trust God for,”—is that, if in the Garden, God made us complete, fully—fully complete with every need met, every heart longing; like fully-seen, fully-known, fully-loved, not missing a single thing—then it’s the fall that really introduced the lack—the “not enough”; the “You’re not good enough,” “You’re not actually that important,” “Do you even have worth?”—it’s the fall that caused that.

    When I think about the serpent tempting Eve, I always think it’s interesting that Genesis 3 says that she saw that it was a delight to the eyes and desirable to make one wise. I think what’s understood there is that she didn’t just get mesmerized by a shiny, pretty red apple, like we see in pictures. She actually questioned whether God really was all-satisfying, whether God really had all her needs taken care of; or if there was something He was holding out on, and that she could get for herself what God had withheld. I think that, when we are striving, it’s believing that there’s a way to arrive at satisfaction, or hope, or some kind of belonging or self-worth that we can somehow get for ourselves; because we just don’t know that we’ll get it anywhere else.

    And so the lie for those of us—if we have a listener here, who’s nodding your head—and you’re like: “Oh, I relate to Ann,” and “I relate to Ruth,” and “I get that,”—I would just even pause for a second, and think, “What’s causing you so much exhaustion right now?” I’d ask myself, “What’s making you so exhausted?”

    If you take a break—and you say, “Well, it’s trying to get my kids to every single activity they could possibly sign up for,”—then, don’t just stop there—”Why are you doing every single activity you could possibly sign up for?”

    “Is it the fear”—that you’re living vicariously—”hoping that they’ll be successful because you don’t feel successful?”

    “Is it the fear that they’re going to miss out on things, and you need to have the child with the most opportunity ever?”

    “Is it stressing you out, going to the gym every day, trying to look beautiful and in shape?” What is that really revealing? You see, every single thing that causes us utter exhaustion usually points to something that we’re longing for; we’re trying to achieve and get for ourselves.

    Dave:So deeper, it’s the root.

    Ruth:Yes.

    Dave:And I’m wondering—I have two wives sitting here—”Have you brought that into your marriage? Have you ever felt it from your husband?” I mean, it sounds like Troy and I are a little bit alike. I know Ann’s felt this from me: “Have you done the dishes?” “When’s the last time we had sex?” “Do you understand what I’m going through here?—trying to,,,”

    You feel from the husband another performance: “Hey, strive; I need you to be this.” Have you ever felt that?—“I’m trying to get that [acceptance/approval] from my husband, as well, just like I tried from my dad,” or “…from looking a certain way,” or “…doing certain things.”

    Ruth:Well, I’ll be honest. This is probably really vulnerable for me to say out loud. My husband has been a pastor for much of our marriage, as well. I think my striving and my performance tendencies comes out when he underperforms. If he doesn’t nail it on a Sunday sermon; or if he says something that I’m like, “That’s a little cringe,”—

    Dave: —because?

    Ruth: —because my root issue is that I want approval, and I want to feel like I nailed it; and now, “Your lack of doing that is making me feel like I can’t get what I want,”—so you see how—

    Ann:—and then, it bleeds into our kids.

    Ruth:Right; absolutely. Because here’s the thing: you will consistently strive to make everybody conform to your ideals and your measurement if you think that you have to attain.

    Dave:How does Troy respond to that?

    Ruth:Well, absolutely, he receives feedback that is done well; but he also does correct me. He does ultimately say, “Honey, I think you are really seeing this through the lens of self,” “…of pride,” “…of fear.” And thankfully, I kind of self-diagnose; and I’ll say—and I’ll confess, even beforehand—and I’ll say, “I can tell that I’m really fearful. I’m really fearful that I’m not going to have approval. I’m fearful that people are going to leave us, or that they won’t love us; because we don’t do things just right.”

    You see—when you’re in ministry; or you’re in public work and public service; or a publicly-known person—you’re going to fail. You’re going to screw up sometimes; you’re going to not handle a certain conversation just right. And if you have an intrinsic fear that you have to earn someone’s approval, then man, is that going to be a really difficult process of people-pleasing, and perfectionism, and constantly overanalyzing; because not only are you measuring yourself that way, but you’re measuring everybody else through that lens as well.

    Ann:I think this is a little practical step here, as a listener—even for myself—I would just analyze: “What’s my self-talk? What am I saying to myself?” Because I was never enough; it was words like: “You failed,” “You should have worked harder,” “You should have prepared more.”

    Then, I would ask you this question: “What are your thoughts about your husband? Are they about: ‘He’s not measuring up,?—‘He’s not doing…’” And then, “What are your thoughts about your kids?” Because all of that—I would lay in bed, thinking about that at night—and it became this to-do list, and it became this burden of: “I need to fix—

    Dave:—more striving.

    Ann:—“I need to fix everybody. I need to strive to make us great!”

    Ruth:One of my favorite questions to ask myself—and if I’m sharing with a friend, I’ll encourage her to ask herself as well—just that: “Every single thing that we lay awake at night, trying to fix, usually points to that big fear that you think, ‘If I don’t have this, I won’t ever be happy.’”

    Ann:And then, that becomes an idol.

    Ruth:Absolutely! Because if you’re striving in your own strength, you are sinning; because you’re not doing it in the Lord’s strength. An idol is anything you’re willing to sin to get—or to not have it—causes you to sin. So that’s a really good way for us to say: “Is this just that you’re a little perfectionistic? You’ve set some goals?” or “Are you striving in a way, where you are not going to be satisfied or happy, unless you get your way?—because your core need is approval, and love, and worth; and you’re trying to go somewhere other than God for it.”

    Ann:I have to share this with you: we started our church with two other couples; and then, I had a chance to start our women’s ministry. And by that time, it was a pretty big church. I was pumped up to have this—we had a whole team; we had different gifts—and I knew that I had some real weaknesses.

    Dave:And she can lead; this girl can lead.

    Ann:No, because I covered my weaknesses with a lot of great women. At the end of the year—

    Dave:Yeah, she just deflected that—“I’m not a great leader,”—you are.

    Ann:At the end of the year, we had this great lunch. We’re celebrating all God had done. And I said, “Let’s go around and speak life into one another of the gifts that you’ve seen,” or “Maybe give each person a name of who you would call them.” One woman is like, “You’re Grace; you give grace wherever you go,” and “You’re Compassionate.” So it was this beautiful time; we cried. And it came to my time; I was the last one. And this older woman, whom I really respected, said, “Ann, you are the Energizer Bunny.”

    I kind of laughed. I was [thinking]: “Somebody was named Ruth,” and “Oh, you’re Esther; you’ve changed the whole…” So I was anticipating this great word! And so I’m like, “Oh.” I’m trying to be gracious, but I was so depressed. And she said, “Oh, no, no; Ann, it’s a compliment. You get so much done; you have so much energy; you just keep going and going.” I got in the car after that, and I was super discouraged.

    But I was also thinking, “That’s interesting that that’s what they see.” It wasn’t this godly character thing; it’s the Energizer Bunny. And the next morning, I had forgotten all about it. I was getting ready, in front of the mirror; and it’s as if the Holy Spirit said—this makes me get emotional, just because this was a turning point for me—it was if the Holy Spirit said, “Your name is striving.” It wasn’t in a condemning way, or a shame way; it was almost like, “I’m just longing for you to rest in Me.”

    I went on this journey. I wish I would’ve had your book back then; because your book takes us to a place of learning how not to strive, how to rest in Him, how to give grace/the grace that He gives us. I think there’s so many of us—probably, as men; but as women, too—we don’t know how to live in a different way. Our intent is probably good, from a wounded past; but I want to get into: “How do we get beyond this into the grace of the gospel, and the love, the unconditional love and freedom that Jesus brings?”

    Ruth:Thanks for sharing that; we have so much in common. One of my favorite A.W. Towser quotes is: “What comes into someone’s mind, when they think about God, is the most important thing about them.” I always think that that quote applies; it applies here because we can’t talk about how to cease striving, and live under the grace of God, and rest in freedom if our ideas about God are wrong; because we operate out of our ideas.

    When I was describing that dishes story, with my dad—well, if I believe that He only wants to pay attention to me when I get things done—then that’s going to affect my interaction with Him. I’m going to completely see myself through the lens of: “You are what you do, not who you are,” and “You’re only worthy if you actually hold up your end of the deal.”

    But the entirety of the gospel story—from the very beginning, God had a plan, even when Adam and Eve sinned—it was from the beginning. It’s fascinating how much you realize, even with the covenant with Abram. One of my very favorite accounts in Scripture is when God instructs Abram to cut up these animals and put them on either side of the path. He says, “Hey, this is how we’re going to put this covenant into legal terms here.” He [Abram] would’ve known: “This is how countries would do it.” And they would just say—it was basically like—“We’re going to walk, arm in arm, through these bloodied carcasses; and walk right down the middle, where the blood would flow, because—

    Ann:—this is the covenant.

    Ruth:—because this is the picture of: “Let this be done unto us if either of us break this covenant.” And do you remember how that story goes? The account is that God puts Abram to sleep; God says, “I don’t need you to finish this. I got this; I’m doing this whole thing on My own. You don’t need to hold up your end of the deal.”

    For a girl, who couldn’t finish the dishes, and felt she was unworthy because she just couldn’t get her side of things—when I realized that—“That’s the God we serve; that’s the God who saved me. That’s the God who sent Jesus,”—I realized, “Oh, when He says, ‘This is His promise: it is finished; that Jesus accomplished what I couldn’t,’—that this is what He means—He means He can put Abram to sleep. That rest is the gift of knowing that God’s got it.”

    Ann:So good.

    Ruth:So when strivers, like me and you, if we want to know rest, we have to start with: “Who is God?” Because if we believe that God is God, and we are not, that’s the only time you can actually physically rest, mentally rest, spiritually rest; because Jesus actually paid the penalty for our sin that we can rest from striving to get ourselves good enough for God. Because you see, there’s a striving for self-worth and all the things that we feel like we need in this life, but there’s also this striving where we are trying to save ourselves: “God, are You pleased with me?” “Do I have a chance at coming into Your presence?—because I don’t know; I kind screw up all the time.” And because of grace—and we read in Ephesians 2 that—“By grace you have been saved through faith,”—

    Ann:—”not of yourselves.”

    Ruth:—”not of yourselves” and “nothing you can boast in.”

    And for somebody, like me, who really likes to keep a record of everything I do right; so that I could be like, “Listen, I covered my tracks. I did this; I did it. If there’s a mess up, it’s on y’all, not me.” I’m that girl who really remembers that I took care of things. God’s like, “You have nothing to do with it. You are to surrender; you are actually laying things down, and saying, ‘I don’t have what it takes. I am not good enough.’”

    You see, the opposite to the issue of—”I’m not enough,” “I need to be more perfect,”—the answer to that is not just some silly mantra of—“I am good enough,” “I am pretty enough,” “I’m great,” “I’m the best; in fact, I’m better than So-and-so,”—that’s not the answer. The answer is: “Jesus is enough. God is more than I could ever, ever establish for myself. I’m nowhere close to everything that God can provide. I could strive and run as hard as I can, and I will never be able to save myself; so I need a Savior.”

    I like to say, “I kept trying to be so amazing that I wouldn’t need grace.” The gospel is: “You are loved and cared for by an amazing Father, who sent His Son to be the Savior that you needed; and you didn’t even know it. So just come; come in your weakness; come in your striving; and lay it down, because in Him is when you can rest.”

    Ann: That’s so good.

    Dave:Yeah; I tell you what I was thinking, as I was listening to you: “This is the end of 2024; we’re in the last couple of days. And man, what a gift 2025 would be if we cease striving.” That’s what I was thinking. That could be your theme for the year: “No more striving; cease striving.” Again, I’m just going to say: “Get Ruth’s book; it’s called When Strivings Cease at FamilyLifeToday.com.

    And here’s one more thing. Before the year’s over, we are going to send you, as a gift to you, her children’s book, Home Is Right Where You Are, for a donation to FamilyLife. So you send us a donation; we’ll send you this. It will be a great gift in 2025 as well.

    Ann:And if you send a donation, in of any amount, your donation will be doubled because of some gracious donors.

    Dave:And so send a donation; we’ll send you: Home Is Right Where You Are. You can do that at FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call: 800-358-6329. That’s 800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and the word, TODAY.FamilyLife Today is a donor-supported production of FamilyLife®, a Cru® Ministry.

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