Subscribe to our newsletter

Save a Marriage Today

Connect with us

Reader Responses: Replacing Conversation With Connectivity



Following are emails we received from readers for a Marriage Memo, "Are We Replacing Conversation With Connectivity?" A number of these emails were also used in the articles, "'Technology Drives Me Crazy.'" and "Setting Boundaries for Mobile Technology."

1. I can only say “Amen Brother”!   We have had to establish boundaries with some of our friends who just can’t be out of touch with anyone.  We ask them to please turn off their cell phones for the hour that we are having lunch, and have let them know, that if they choose not to do so, we will not be having lunch again anytime soon. Yes, it’s harsh, but is it any worse than trying to have a conversation with someone when you are reminded several times that their conversation with you takes second place to the person on the other end of the phone.  I think there is a great need for a good book on cell phone etiquette … and the consequences for not observing them!

2. Just yesterday in Sunday School our leader asked "how wonderful would it be if we all carried our Bible around like we do our cell phone." Puts thing into perspective!

3. We did establish limits when we saw how the cell phone was invading our everyday lives. No phones or iPods at the dinner table, during movies or family discussions. If the phone rings during one of these events, it just rings unless one of us is expecting a call. Only then do we check it, and if it's not an expected call, we move on. Our 23 year old discovered early on how demanding the cell could be once he started giving his number out in college. He quickly set his own limits because he realized how invasive his phone had become.  Even with those restrictions in place, both 16 year-olds go thru spurts of playing games that totally engross them…then I found out they were competing with each other on the game. Thanks for addressing this issue. It has the potential to ruin lives if not used in moderation. I sure wish every family had the good sense to set some boundaries.

4. My husband and I have struggled for the last 25 years of our marriage with conversation but what has happened now is Facebook has taken over him.  If dinner isn't ready when he comes home, he's on Facebook until it is.  Every morning he gets up and hits Facebook to see who's been on.  And yet our conversation is limited at best.  So, instead of us forcing ourselves to work on conversation he has averted to what's easier and that's Facebook. Sadly he does not see it as an issue.  And I fear I am not alone in this.

5. I think it can get out of control. In my own marriage it has led to my wife sexting another man. And had since I have felt alone and almost unimportant. Comes as no surprise that we have had a lot of issues. We almost got divorced earlier this year in fact. Her and I are trying to work out our problems but it can be really difficult sometimes when the phone is blinking all the time.

6. I agree that we need to be concerned.  We have seen that our children wanted to gravitate to this what we call “non-accountable communication” (text and Facebook comments).  This technology can also benefit our lives and relationships, such as this email.  We have to be able to recognize and use it in a way which is appropriate.  May we never forget that eye to eye conversations still need to be the primary mode of conversations and communication with our spouses and families.

7. Oh my goodness! You are so right on with your comments in this article.  Technology drives me crazy. We had to limit our daughters texting as she was sending more than 12K a month and they were completely senseless. Thank goodness cell companies offer parental controls since some of our kids cannot exercise self control in this area. We were concerned an addiction to texting could lead to other addictions later in life!

Coworkers and I talk all the time about how this new generation has no idea how to carry on a conversation. One of my co workers daughters was mortified that he would go into a room of complete strangers (attending a work convention) and just start up a conversation. Her comment was "How do you do that. What do you say?"

8. TTT=Timeout from Technology at the Table! A rule at our house.

9. I agree. Being "young" still at 28, I’ve had the opportunity to grow up from no computers to computers with internet, pay phones to pagers then ultimately to cell phones.  Like you said, so many advantages to these things but our culture has wanted to "connect" so much with these technological devices that we've actually lost the skills to communicate. When we text, email, facebook, and the like, we lose a vital piece of relationships: the emotional connection. Without the sound of our voices, the body language, the touch, we as humans lose what God intended to be a vital part of how we are supposed to relate and a vital part of how we are supposed to receive love and be in communion with others.

We have two small children in the home so fortunately we haven't had to deal with this for them. For my husband and I, we have decided that the TV will not be used unless it's appropriate movies.  Texting is only used as a quick update. Email is used as a sweet way to remind each other of our love. Facebook is only checked every couple months to check up on family and old life long friends.  Our phones are not touched during dinner and our twice-a-week talk times.

Thank you for this. It gives me a renewed motivation to call people more often, write people stamped letters, and to continue to keep the cell phone out of reach during any face to face conversation. Less is more.

10.  This is such a timely article!  I think it is so rude to sit across from someone who is texting or talking excessively on the phone.  At home we don't allow our dinner table to be a technology hot spot! No cell phones at the table. My husband is on call all the time and he does not bring his phone to the dinner table.  Our young people in society may be technologically more savvy than the prior generations, but they are also socially illiterate when it comes to common courtesy and manners.

11. I agree completely with your email, but if there wasn't text messaging my 26 year-old son would probably rarely talk to my husband and I at all.  He's not a big conversationalist.  We didn't like the idea of cell phones so he didn't get a cell phone until he was out of high school.  We did provide him with a pager so when we paged him he'd need to contact us.  He said kids made fun of him and he was always borrowing someone's cell phone.  Well, we grew up without cell phones so we didn't see what the big deal was.  There was a pay phone on campus.  He still has issues with us (he needs to sort out), and won't pick up the phone if he sees it's us calling, but if we text him, he'll respond immediately.  So I guess we're being held hostage in cell hell.

What I do like about texting is that my husband and I don't always have time for a phone call at work but we can send quick text messages throughout the day, and then connect at home.

Yes, there is NO substitution for live conversations.  What's annoying is that when you leave a message on a cell phone you pretty much know they got it (not like an answering machine that can mess up on a moment's notice), but people just don't return phone calls, emails, texts, letters anymore.  They usually have a lame excuse.  They look at the phone, see who it is and let it go to voice mail.  I also think we're barraged with too many ways of communication.  It's overwhelming!

12. You are absolutely right in your concern that we are losing our way to each other through technology. Our children are becoming more isolated everyday while they are connected to anywhere/everywhere in the world. There is no end to the marriages that have been  and are being destroyed by internet porn and "online" connections. Technology is amazing and has saved countless lives but there has to be limits. I am blessed with a husband who sees the need to limit our web access, use the cell phone to call, no texting, keep video games clean and the time spent on them limited. Our kids didn't have a cell phone or internet access as teens and they graduated with honors, furthered their educations, and call us regularly to catch up.

13. Something I wish I had done, but didn't think of, was establish a central charging station for my children's cell phones.  I did not realize until much later, that their sleep was being interrupted many, many times in an evening, and probably every single night, in their high school years. Had I rounded up the cell phones and put them on the mantle to charge, this would not have happened.  They would have used their alarm clock to waken, instead of the cell phone alarm. They would have gotten better sleep.

Cell phones were new then and we only had a basic plan, for them to call if they were stranded:  but it quickly morphed into more. They are nice adults now. No harm, no foul. Thank you Awana. But still, I would have made that change.

14.  In our home we have six cell phones.  You may think that is alot, but they are prepaid phones and used mostly when we are not at home (which isn't very often).  We got our children the phones so they could text friends, and keep in touch with us when they were away from home.  My husband and I use our phones to send messages of I love you's and updates through out the day while he is at work.  He calls from the store to make sure he didn't forget any item, or to make sure he is getting the right item.  My phone lies on the table most of the day.  If I hear it ring or beep when a text comes in, I answer it.  If I don't hear it, the person will either try our home number, or it wasn't that important.  I rarely carry my phone on me, unless I am away from home.  

Children learn from what they see.  Many people today cannot live without their cell phone.  To me it is just a tool, to be used when needed.  Our children have seen the effects the cell phone has on their friends.  In church, most of the kids and teens don't talk to each other, they text while sitting right next to the person.  They are not paying attention to the teachers or preachers, they are texting or playing games.  And sadly even adults are playing with their phones during church, instead of participating.  We made a rule from the start, that our cell phones were not to be taken to church.  If you have it with you, in stays in the car. If they have forgotten it in their pocket or purse, they always bring it to me and I keep it, turned off, until service is over.

Our children have realized that having the cell phone was cool when they first got it.  Our youngest daughter sent out a numerous amount of texts her first night of having the phone.  We had to teach her to budget her minutes and use them wisely.  (She now has 1400+ minutes saved up on her phone, and she still texts her friends without going crazy.)  Now to them, it is a tool.  When they want to check in with a friend, they send a message.  Mostly, their phones are used when they go away from home, just to check in with us.  They have realized that spending time with the people they are with is more important than having a conversation with someone else, and leaving the person they are with alone, bored, and wondering why they are there. 

We also told our kids that to have their phones, we as parents, have the right to read every message they send or receive.  We have never had an issue with inappropriate usage, because they know we are mindful of how their phones are being used.  Also, as a home-schooling mother, I also made it clear to our children, that I would rather have them spell everything out, instead of using texting lingoes.  I'm sure you are with me, when you receive texts that you can't read, because of misspelled words.  I understand sometimes the phone wants to auto correct, but we have become so at ease with technology, that people do not know how to spell anymore, or how to use words together properly.  People are so used to texting, they are forgetting how to speak, write, and communicate.

If people would make the focus on the people instead of the tool, there would be more meaningful conversation between people.  To alot of people, their phone has to be the newest, coolest device and they spend hours playing with it.  Look at the many moments of talking, laughing and caring they are missing with the people around them. People are not something we exchange in for a new model. The people in our lives are there to lift us up, encourage us on, to laugh with, to cry with.  They are what makes life more meaningful- not a device.  

My dad was 84 years old last year, before he died.  He had a cell phone, and learned to text the grandkids.  It would always make him smile or chuckle when he would get a message from them.  And though he hated technology, he learned to do it, and my kids have some wonderful memories of grandpa to hold forever. 

I know many people probably disagree, but this is our family, and this is our values.

15. Your article really hit home with me.... You see, I was checking my email while my husband was trying to converse with me.  Guilty! Nobody wants to admit this, but I think we have a real problem with technology ADDICTION. (i have to include myself in this category) Just watch people on the treadmill at the gym, posting to Facebook, then waiting anxiously for another comment. I don't do that, but I have been known to check my email while waiting in line at the store...

I am 43 and my mom is in her 70's. I thought it was really cool when she started texting me, but then I realized that we hardly call each other to "chat" by phone anymore.   Everything is a quick text. 

Technology makes things very convenient, but it's hard to be self-disciplined to turn it off. I actually have a picture from a family vacation a few years ago that bothers me... My husband and I rented a beach house with my parents and my three brothers and their families. 17 people in this huge house on the beach. This photograph shows five people on their laptops, several playing games on iPad, and others plugged in to music... I look at that and think, "really? We couldn't leave the computers at home for a week?"

I'm hoping that I can start setting a better example for my kids by setting my own limits.  But first I better check Facebook...LOL

16.  I do believe that our relationships are so different now with the technological advances.  One thing I often think about is marriage advice from elders.  I love to get advice from people that have been together forever, but when you ask them about their opinion on marriage, when it comes to facebook – or how they handled a certain argument, that stemmed from a facebook comment, friend, message, etc…. they can’t help you.  I feel like our generation now has no guidance in this area.  I know it would all be opinion anyways, but I don’t think our generation realizes that we are the guinea pigs with this new technology.  And in my personal opinion – we are failing miserably!

And yes, all this technology has given us new ways to “communicate” with each other, but it has taken away from us using and developing our verbal skills.  People have already started to detach themselves from human contact, everyday – have you seen how many people have headphones in, while walking?  I’m not saying it’s a bad thing (I even do it myself), but it keeps you from having to interact with others.  I feel that this world is growing colder, and more isolated with the growth of technology.  I bet there are some people that never even leave their house or interact with ANYONE, because you can get everything brought right to you, from the morning paper online (don’t even have to walk down your drive way to pick it up), to groceries delivered right to your door.  Convenient, yes – teaching our children how to interact with other, not at all!  How convenient does our world really need to be, anyways?

The human touch alone can do more for someone than a text EVER could.  I have experienced first hand, people at work that at first I thought “why is this person touching my arm when they talk to me, and invading my personal space?”  Then I take a look at this person’s personal life – they have nobody to share the human touch with…. Then it made so much sense!  God created humans to interact with each other.  I don’t think people realize it, but we need one another, even if it’s just a handshake, or a high-five, people need people!

17. Thank you for bringing light to an emerging concern that is affecting many marriages and families more than we may be willing to admit. My wife and I recently had a conversation regarding our use of the cellular telephones when we overheard one of our children telling another friend, "Oh, my mom - she's always talking on the cell phone - and dad is always checking his e-mail." We realized that many times, we can be found by our children - using these technologies- when we reply to them saying, "Just a moment honey... " as our response drifts aimlessly into checking text messages, voicemail message or  e-mail - and then often not responding to our children, and sometimes even each other.

We realized that these are communication tools - and like other tools - there is a time and a place to use them - so we are attempting to set aside specific times to check e-mails and voicemail messages, as opposed to right when they arrive - allowing our children and each other to see that these technologies have a time and a place - and what we are doing with our children, or what our spouse is saying - that our our face to face time with them  is more important than whatever may be on the other side of that call, text, or e-mail. 

Trust us, this is hard to do, the convenience of these technologies is that it is usually a "quick-check" that may indeed save time be really fast - and we have found these things to be little thieves that rob us of moments of quality time with our kids and with each other - we often find that the little moments we get when all of the kids are occupied, or after the kids have gone to bed - we can get lost in the pursuit of these communication tools - e-mails, face-book, blog reading, we find ourselves having to be intentional about guarding our (my wife and I's) communication time from the these little communication thieves - and intentionally engaging in face to face conversation - otherwise our evenings and other times seem to drift and become so easily occupied by these communications that indeed as Ms.Turkle indicates, - the "sips" don't add up to a conversation - and we can find ourselves not even having said a word to each other - just because one of us sat down to "just check that e-mail message..."

18. There are times when taking the emotion out of a conversation can go a long way in understanding.  On the flip side, a world without emotion is not where I want to be.   It’s too easy to disconnect using technology.  We all know of the people who check out from life by absorbing themselves in TV.  Now we have the internet & cell phones & gaming systems to draw them further into non reality but yet sooth them with the allusion of being connected or productive somehow.  Anything that becomes a necessity has the ability to become an idol.  If you can’t live without a gadget … throw it away.  If a gadget is absorbing most of your leisure time … throw it away!  Life is too short.  Let’s not invest what little time we have in meaningless endeavors.

19. While my husband & I are not replacing conversation with texting, etc, we have replaced conversation with busyness! While seeing a counselor, we were amazed at the power of just sitting, knee to knee, holding hands & looking into each other’s eyes as we spoke from our hearts to each other. I am praying God will heal our marriage as we both grow closer to HIM!

20.  Thank you for this article! I, for one, am guilty, guilty, guilty! Many times my husband and I (mostly me) have put rules in place to NOT be on our phones after a certain time in the evening so we can "connect" as a family (we have a 14 yr old daughter and 11yr old son who both have cell phones, as well). The rules stay in place for MAYBE a week, then slowly but surely someone uses it, then someone else, until we're right back where we started. Why can't I see the trend and put an IMMEDIATE stop to it? Well, because I wanna be playing the games in my phone too so I remain silent. BOO FOR ME! I would live to put this in place and stick to it. Something else, really quick … our main tv in our living room, where we all are together watching a movie/show, recently gave out on us (after 20 years of constant service to us) and its been great! No more eating in front of the tv...we are now at the dinner table conversing with each other. Why? Because we haven't had the money to replace it! I'm not complaining, that's for sure!

21. I have long thought there was a time and a place for technology. God made us to manage and subdue it! Technology is replacing our Godly relationships! With our 4 young adults we have taught them that people are most important -more important than things.  All portable electronic devices are 'checked at the door' prior to our sit-down at dinner or family time. Several of our children have fasted from technology and are voluntarily not on Facebook. Our electronic communication has become an easy way to escape genuine communication.

22. We have two children, a 15 year old son and a 13 year old daughter.  Our son has Asperger's, so he already has trouble interacting with people. Our daughter, however, has been begging for a cell phone since 4th grade because other girls had them.  She attends a Christian school, and is never without an adult nearby who has a cell phone for emergencies.  Our answer has been that we will buy a "duty" cell phone when the kids start driving, so they can let us know where they are and can get help if needed.  Our daughter thinks she'll never get a date when she's older because she has no way of receiving texts.  That comment made me realize how much trouble marriages are in for.  I told her that if a boy cannot ask her on a date face-to-face, then she shouldn't bother going out with him because he won't be able to carry on a real conversation while they are out.  We are already fighting a huge battle to keep our marriages healthy, without taking away the little "real" communication that we must already make time for. I am afraid that the next generation may completely do away with traditional marriage in favor of occasional "hook-ups" to satisfy their physical desires, while becoming more self-absorbed because they do not know how to have true friendships, much less how to work at having a good marriage.

23. My husband and I have made a deal for date nights.  He is way too plugged in to t.v. and his phone. Therefore when we are out at restaurants we are not allowed to use our phones unless it is a call from the babysitter.  Also we do not go to restaurants that have televisions because he will be too distracted, and I will be mad that he is not totally engaged.  We all need to find time daily to disconnect from all the information and reconnect with our families with good "old fashioned" conversation.

24. Connectivity is definitely a two-edged sword.  Without it we would not have easy access to your articles.  Getting them in email is soooo easy.  On the other hand, I have found myself corresponding less with people who do not use email or texting – yes, there are people who do not use even cell phones.  I feel a bit guilty when I think of my friend who uses no technology.  My letters to her have decreased over the almost 40 years since we met.  We haven’t seen each other in about 35 years, but keep in touch through phone calls, cards and letters.  I find I don’t call her as often either.  Is that because we are growing apart or is it because texting and email are just easier and quicker.

I used to call my husband at work just to touch base and say I love you.  I rarely call now – I text or email instead so I don’t interrupt him at a bad time.  Does that mean I say “I love you” less often.  Sadly, I think it might be accurate to say that. 

Many homes do not have land line telephones.  Some have internet phone, but many just have cell phones.  We are a mobile society and although we don’t always have conversations, we still want to keep in touch so we text, we twitter, we facebook, we email.  Are we really saying anything, though?  Good old-fashioned face to face or phone to phone conversations are the ones that are meaningful.  I pray we don’t become so technology focused that we forget to REALLY talk. Thank you for writing this.  It will get many to stop and think and hopefully to TALK!

25.  This is something that I have been saying for years.  I have a 16 yr old son, who has no idea how to have a conversation with a girl, he can text all night long, but take that privileged away and he is lost.  I believe that this generation's relationships could be doomed if something doesn't change quickly.  It's real easy to tell someone "I love you", or "I'm breaking up with you" in a text message. But ask them if they can handle those conversations sitting next to a hormonal female or male and I bet their answer will be no.  Communication in a marriage is hard enough, without adding the aspect of technology.  Something has to give soon!

In our household, when our son is involved with a young lady, we encourage him to call her at least once or twice a week and speak on the phone.  It meets with much resistance, but is explained how he will only grow in his communication skills and will learn more about her. 

26.  I loved this issue of Marriage Memo! Texting is a very sore point between me and my husband and recently has even caused strain between me and my brother-in-law. It is not uncommon for my brother-in-law to send text messages at 11:00 PM, 11:30 PM, or even after midnight. My husband is by no means a confrontational character and his subtle hints to his brother are not working. I even tried approaching the issue at a recent family dinner, but it was shrugged off as unimportant. I'd love to hear your advice on how to handle this situation. What should we do if a family member refuses to control his/her texting? I'm thankful that my husband listened carefully to my concerns after a recent "Art of Marriage" conference we attended (thank you Family Life!) and heard my pleas for more of his truly undivided attention away from his cell phone. He no longer checks his texts during date nights, family dinner, and most importantly during conversations that he knows are important to me. Now if only I can get his single brother to feel the same way, we might not have "discussions" about texting at all anymore!
 
Please continue these wonderful e-mails! They are such an encouragement to me! Thank you for all that you do and all that FamilyLife does! Your marriage conferences have helped a young naive couple who married at only 18 & 19 to become the united one body that God intended. We may not have been the couple married the shortest amount of time at the first conference we attended, but I guarantee we were the youngest! We were desperate for help and yearning for practical guidance and it truly changed our lives. This year we will celebrate our eighth anniversary and plan to continue attending your conferences till death do us part!

27.  I agree that we have become so consumed with our cell phones and internet, it is disgusting. Recently my family of four took a little trip to get away and get a breather from ministry, work and life. I was constantly getting text messages and emails on my phone about ministry questions etc... It was hard to get "unconnected" even for a few days. But I am having to learn that it's okay to leave your phone at home and not have to go everywhere with it. Who care's if you don't reply to every text or email right away.... BREATHE

My husband and I go on dates and I want to challenge ourselves next time to leave our phones in the car and actually "talk" during dinner. It will be time we never get back....

28. Great topic. There are so many filters, parental controls, etc, that are seldom used. Some, like having parental locks on your tv, don’t even cost anything. It provide peace of mind for us to know that our children (9,8,6 and 3) can only watch PBS or the weather radar without our assistance. We also pay for an internet filter not only because we believe we need to guard the eyes of our youngsters, but also because, again, it provides peace of mind. Yes, they may see something a little questionable, but we know that the bunny hole can only go so deep since our filter is on.

29. In our home we have set up cell phone courtesy rules:

  • No cell phones at meal time- if out for dinner phones must be left in car or turned off and kept out of sight or will be lost – as this is family time
  • When visiting relatives and friends cell phones are left in car or turned off and not to be seen. As those you are visiting are to be treated as the most important persons in our lives at that time
  • Cell phones are turned off at doctors office, as you are securing medical information and the doctors time is important
  • Texting is limited to us as parents, as I want to hear my children’s voice
  • DS’s or other mobile hand held games do not leave car when shopping, visiting, eating out, etc. as it is family time
  • After 6 p.m. I only take calls from my children and parents – I know who is calling by a special ring tone, as this is my time with my husband after a long day at work

30. My wife uses text messaging to avoid speaking with me when we are apart. She would much rather spend hours on the computer looking at other people's lives on Facebook than to spend any time with me. Really sad.

31.  I do think that if managed properly new technology can enhance your life. My wife and I would not let our daughter have a Facebook page until she was 18 and going to college. After she was away at college for a couple of monts she volentarily suspended it because she felt she was spending too muchime on Facebook and not enough studying. She eventially reactivated it after she felt she could better manage it. She told her mother and me that she found out about a lot of drama that was going on during High School that she was glad she was not envolved in. We have set the same limit for our son, who is now 17.

We got both of our children pre-paid cell phones when they were in sixth grade, and in Band. It was a matter of safety. If practice or some other Band program / fundraiser let out early they could call us. Neither one of our children spend much time texting. My wife and I only text when we are away from each other.

32. We had a rule when the kids lived at home...no phone calls during dinner time. We have continued this even now in our home, with just the two of us. When the kids and grandkids visit, the rule is still in place. They will tease the person  who's phone rang during dinner, but all knew not to answer it. This is family time and no interruptions allowed.

My husband and I have discussed "time wasters" and have agreed to keep track for the next few weeks to see where our time is going, and what we are spending it on. It will be interesting to see the results!

33.  Don't think you could be more right on.  In my marriage there would be no communication if there were no texting and internet chatting but feel like we are so far apart.  I think this way of "communicating” has broken down our verbal talk to each other face to face and deal with emotion.

34. Anyone who is seeking after God's heart should be concerned, for our Lord is all about relationships. And a huge part of building a healthy, lasting, and loving relationship is dependent on the conversation between the parties involved because that's how we come to understand, appreciate, and grow in love for one another. 

To combat the distraction of cell phones in our lives, we chose to stay with our old-fashioned "non-smart" phones. We had to fight strong against the constant lure from the advertisements on free smart phones that do wonders for you. The funny thing is, the ad often makes us think that the convenience of these fast smart phones will help us be more 'connected' to those who we care. But the opposite is true. Our text-savvy generation have lost the art of making meaningful speeches or write grammatically correct and convincing essays. They want to be entertained. They get bored easily. They don't think deeply, if they think at all. We are still holding our grounds with our fifteen-year-old on letting her to have a smart phone or even allow texting on her current phone. Our twelve-year-old is  asking for a cell phone of his own, and we are still considering. 

For our children, computer use is limited to school work only during the weekdays. But we are still not very clear on how much time they can spend on internet access during the weekends, after church. But we are beginning to feel the "tug-of-war" between making time on weekends for family events and for their computer usage. It is clear that when left alone, kids (and most adults) will gravitate toward those electronic screens for hours on end. My husband and I had to form an united front not only in limiting our family's internet usage, but also be willing to give ourselves to each other the time that they deserve to make conversations that help to build up meaningful relationships. 

I still need to fight the urge to surf the web. I have to make a conscious decision that I will use the web to serve God first, to nurture my soul, to inspire my spirit, and then use it to strengthen someone in need of encouragement. It is so easy to lose track of time once I get swept away by the waves of "interesting" so-call news or information. I often realize that I am no better off after I read all those "current events". I find it so distracting to commune with my holy Lord when my mind is stuffed with all what I've seen inside the screen. 

I'm thankful that my husband makes our daily conversations a priority. He always drops whatever he is doing whenever I come to him for anything so that he can give me his total attention. Because my husband travels extensively, here is where technology helps to keep our relationship afresh with cell phones and free video calls with internet access. I make sure that I call him at least twice daily whenever he is out-of-town. He finds much comfort to see the kids and me when he is away for an extended time. We chat together with the kids every night and then we pray together before we say our good-nights. 

35. It makes me sad to see the way things are going when it comes to conversations between people these days. I've seen many times 2 people sitting together but absorbed in there cell phones, busy texting or gaming.  I will do what  I can to prevent my kids from being like that.

36. Isn’t it amazing how people panic when they have lost their cell phone, dropped it in water (ruined), it died (probably from overuse/worked)?  Do you think they stop to use the good old fashion telephone?  It is like all manner of being sensible went out the window or in the toilet. 

So very sad, don’t get me wrong I was one who fought getting a cell phone because my pager had “died” I resisted, but the family wore me down and convinced me that it would be best if others could get ahold of me in a more modern way, AND just think of how handy it would be in case of emergency provided you are able to dial the number and not be incapacitated in some way that you can’t call for help.  I really am not making light how things are today among all ages, but the connections that are important is not what you relay through the cell phone, it is face to face, verbally and caringly to family, friends, etc. and talking silently (or out loud) with our precious Lord.  When we go to Him He smiles and has his arms wide open saying “welcome home my child I’ve been waiting”.  I don’t know about you but those moments when you are worried about a child, spouse, friend and you do speak to them on the cell phone it is still better when you see them face to face.

I guess you more than get the point I am making getting the biggest, best, most improved, most bells and whistles doesn’t matter to me.  I have a very simple “free” cell phone and just gave in to texting since the first of the year along with my husband because the kids and grandkids said just think how handy it would be in case of emergency (provided your fingers can work to transmit the text).

Thank you for all you do for us couples of all ages it never gets old and you can always learn something new every day.  Don’t text while driving!!!

37. We agree whole heartedly. We have shut down face book and don't let the phone interfere with our marriage, dinner time or just conversation times. The cell phone has become an extra appendage for many people.

38. This is a truly important subject. Here is my stance as a mother of 4. Presently they are ages 25, 23, 18, 16.  I find my middle two are much more addicted to their technology than my oldest and youngest.  My oldest did not have texting or even his own phone when he was in high school so is not as dependent on it.  My youngest is much more interested in her art and only uses her iphone for listening to music in her room. The middle two however are attached to their phones like an umbilical cord to their mother.

My rules:

  • No phone conversations on the phone while driving as a family. My comment is "who have you invited into our car?" This is usually met with that look that teenagers love to give. Car rides are for listening to books or talking or listening to music. The ear buds and everyone in their own little world is allowed on long car rides but not on short ones. By long I mean more than three hours. I still am wanting to play car games like the alphabet game.
  • No phones allowed at the table. Recently my 23 year old son was home and he kept looking at his cell phone and texting someone.  We asked him to put it away and he did although he wasn't happy about it. He has become so accustomed to using his phone whenever he has the urge that he was surprised that I was so adamant.
  • No technology at church. This gets tricky because my husband uses his iPad to look up the Scripture. Definitely no texting.

iPods are great for listening to music while on a walk or run however even there I think so often it fills my head and steals the opportunity for me to focus on what I am seeing and more importantly on what God is saying to me.

Most of all I find that when we turn off all technology and engage with one another we build relationship and memories. It is critical to set boundaries otherwise technology will creep in and take over and all those opportunities will be lost.

39. It makes me so very sad to see this all happening … my kids hear me all the time stressing the importance of having REAL verbal conversations. They are 13, 11, 9, 6. I teach them why I don't need text on my phone and I use others as examples as we sit at a restaurant and next to us are 4 young adults on their own "texting machines" - there is zero interaction with each other! They do seem to grasp what I am saying thankfully!!  When we are with family or out to eat, they are not allowed to take their ipods inside.

I am relieved to know that there are books being written about this very issue and hopefully the pendulum will start to swing the other direction!!

40.  We have established guidelines within our marriage and our extended family regarding cell phones.  We ask our family to first try our home phone and if we don't answer, leave a message not automatically try our cell.  If we were available to take the call at home we would and if we don't answer then we are likely out or with others and taking a call would be rude.  Obviously, the exception to this is any emergency.  Between my husband and myself, we don't answer calls or text on date night or during time we have set apart for each other.

I think cell phones have created a semblance of urgency to communication that really should be limited to face to face interaction.  They also prevent the need for pre-planning.  If you dialogue with people about plans, errands, grocery lists, etc. before leaving home it isn't necessary to interrupt the work day multiple times.

I understand technology has its advantages but we are being ruled by the technology rather than using it as a tool. Thanks for addressing this vital issue!

41. Please, please pursue this topic more. Satan wants us out of relation. This tech revolution is all he needs to keep us apart. Tv or cell or phone or just driving with the radio on...these are all distractions that will in time ruin our lives.  The deep intimacy we were created for by our infallible creator is slowly disappearing. 

 

42. I quit the corporate world. Took a semi-retired job at Publix, stocking shelves at 47. I rarely check that phone or pager or PC anymore except early in the AM, not now (1AM) before work to do my bible study and check email and Facebook.  However, my wife, still in the corporate world, IT specifically, works from home and when I get home early in the afternoon, I compete with her phones and computers. Sometimes well past 5pm. Then, even after work, the her cell rings. It's her sister or her cousin from Chicago calling while they're stuck in traffic and wish to catch up. I am sitting here waiting with the TV on to keep myself awake and entertained. I have limited hours after 5pm since my day begins at 1AM.

 

43. Cell phones are a "God send” at times and abomination at times.  Several times lately in deep worship in the word and close to gazing on the "Face of God.”  All changed with the sound of a cell phone. Leave it home folks, when going to worship, let God do the talking, He can handle it much better that you and I.

 

44. It's so funny that my husband EMAILED me this article but then did not even bother to try to discuss it with me.  Isn't that telling of how we are becoming as couples??  He emails me things from across the room. We both sit in our family room with our laptops and email each other more than we talk.

 

We have discussed and even tried having "No computers after dinner", but we always end up having some excuse as to why we need our computer.  "I just want to look up who that actress is in the movie we are watching", or he "just wants to find a new hose and reel online", or "see if you can order tickets to that Beach Boys concert..."..and the list is endless.  We can find more reasons to be on our computer after dinner when we should be spending time talking to each other.  We both gave up Facebook at least 6 months ago.  He never really spent much time on it, but I was fairly addicted to it.  It is liberating to be "Facebook Free"!!!  

 

But now my new "addiction" is Ancestry.com.  I just HAVE to find all of our long departed relatives, and it takes up more time that Facebook ever did!!  And both my husband and myself love to look at real estate online and can sit for hours looking for that dream vacation home to buy or a new place to rent for our next vacation.  And my husband uses him computer in the evening to prepare his Sunday School lesson. (he teaches high school boys)  So when i see him on the computer I don't feel like i can fuss too much because i know he needs to be on it.  AND he uses his computer to do a Bible study program.  I just don't know at what point he has finished the lesson/Bible study and when he starts to "surf".....

 

I have a love/hate relationship with my laptop and my iPhone.  It is great to be able to do quick research about a subject, but then I will end up following link after link from one article to the next and before i know it i have been on the computer for an hour when i only intended to be on for 5 minutes. 

 

I don't know what the answer is.  I honestly wonder what i did before i had a computer and Iphone??  My house was probably cleaner and the laundry didn't get put off till later, and I cooked more!  Thank goodness there wasn't internet (or at least i didn't have it), when i was raising my sons.  They had my undivided attention, AND i didn't have to worry about what THEY might be looking at on the computer!  I would hate to be trying to raise children today and monitoring what they were texting and looking at online. 

 

To answer my own question, I DO know what the answer is: SELF CONTROL!!  JUST SAY NO!  Or have a one hour max time limit on being on the computer in the evening. 

 

45. I am one of those people at the restaurant with her spouse, waiting and feeling lonely. My husband is always looking at his phone, checking his email or his bank account, his facebook, and his texts. I just sit waiting and thinking to myself, "why am I not good enough for him? Why does he have to be entertained by everyone and everything else." It deeply depresses me and he just cannot understand my point of view.

 

46. I have noticed that my fiancée’s children spend all their free time either playing video games or watching cartoons. There is little meaningful communication that occurs between the children and their Mom. Games used to be family oriented board games that brought the family members together. The new games do the opposite by isolating members from each other. The boy in his “gaming chair” with headphones on in another world all together.

 

47. Hello, You are so right on this topic. I have a 15-year-old who text about 4,000 texts a month. I had to tell her she had to cut back because she can"t hold a conversation on the phone. When I tell her to call her grandma to ask her something, she's like, What do I say? It's sad because what are they going to do when they need to interview for a college or a job? That's what we tell her all the time.  It's like it makes them become not social because they're too busy texting then hanging out and socializing. She even distanced herself from us because she's too busy texting. So we decided that when she wakes up on Sunday she hands over her phone and can't get it back till Monday.

 

48. Web and mobile phone usage like you mention cause a lot of distraction in marriage and family. Without bias mind, almost 75 percent of family folks falls victim of this syndrome of distraction. I am personally is a victim of this syndrome. "facebook addict". After mentioning the hazards of what this two important technology innovations has cause our conversation life, there are also so many important life positive values they have added to us and our young off springs born in this advantage. We can't undermine those values. 

 

As a Christian,  i trust the Holy Spirit for help to put moderation in all this activity. My wife is whom God is using as a prompter to my actions because she is not web nor phone addict. More so because web takes more of my time, my studies suffers serious setback and i feel so much guilty. Though still struggling with the addiction but i know the Holy Spirit is my confidence that with self discipline i will break the addiction. Talk of self discipline, i had to take off web from my cell phone so that church service can receive maximum concentration as ever. Switching off my cell phone and leaving it inside the car is another measure. The final measure, my wife keeps the phones during Church services and the laptops during my time for studies. This has help lately because i really want to break the addiction.

 

49.  Adding my two cents regarding connectivity.  I think it's been overall good for my communications with my sister.  She lives in California and I am in Michigan.  Neither of us have ever been big on using the phone.  However, when she is at school and logged onto her chat, I can instantly connect with her just to say "hi, how are you?"  We talk more because of being able to be connected than we would otherwise.

50. Your article hits the pull of both worlds that we now live in.  An age of wanting conversation, relationship, but not having the time due to so much at our fingers now.  Though that doesn't make sense when you read it, it actually does.  Less is more and more may not be always better. 

 

I work out of state from where I live and usually am gone 50-75% of the year.  Though I would love to live a simple life and not have any technology, it has been a true blessing in keeping a connection with my family.  Not only phone calls, but skype, facetime, etc, has put a face to the voice and helped with living two lives apart so we can live.  However, with the goods of technology and ease, it also brings in a lot more temptation, laziness, complacency, and sin with such ease.  There is a definite balance in this act we play with technology, and it is up to the adults and parents to teach the next generation that balance; giving them the tools they need in order to succeed outside of our home.

 

51. My husband works in the cell phone and wireless industry and we have these conversations periodically about how these mobile devices can take over your life. We found ourselves waking up in the morning and immediately picking up the smart phone or tablet. I think it is a concern worth highlighting because most people who use these devices never see that their devices have taken over. Although they are great tools, there is a such thing as overuse. Just like a husband and wife periodically need time alone from their kids, they also need time alone from their constant connection to the world through mobile devices. And just like a family needs time away from others so they can communicate with each other, they also need to unplug from the wireless world to talk, share, equip and open up to each other.

 

We decided that to combat the takeover of these devices in our lives, we would implement the following:

 

  • No cell phones or devices at dinner unless it's  an emergency. This allows us to focus on each other and talk about our day.
  • No texting about or talking about really important personal issues over the phone. This should be done face-to-face, unless it is something that can't wait.
  • No mobile devices, or laptops will be used at bedtime. This allows us to have pillow-talk without the interruption of, or urge to pick the device to check emails, Facebook, Twitter or anything else.

Of course it takes time to retrain yourself and your family once you have become so attached to your mobile devices, but keeping them in their rightful place will open up the door to more intimate communication with your spouse and family.

 

52. I have been substitute teaching for a few years now and it seems as if the kids who are getting cell phones are younger and younger. They sit in class and text back and forth or play games. I definitely think their learning has been impaired. It's also an easy access for cheating. They do not pay attention because they are so worried about what someone has replied or how far they are getting in a game. I have also witnessed a parent actually calling their child during school! How appalling! That just sends out the wrong message. It's very sad to see how schools are declining.  

 

53. I wondered if I felt this way because I am older now...I do enjoy FB and the cell phone and texting when calling is not appropriate...but...I know that when my husband texts me when he could call hurts my feelings.  I do know that I long to hear his voice, but, moreover, I long to hear that special "tone" of voice that says he needs the connection too...he needs to hear my voice and to have a little tete a tete with his wife....the most intimate person in his life. 

 

I feel the lack of romance in this world of emails, FBing, texting and just trying to accrue acquaintances while neglecting the art of making true friends and establishing intimacy with them through real dates and real voices...perhaps we are growing away from emotionalism. 

 

Thank you for all that you do to inspire couples to invest in their marriage.  How in the world do we promise to love for a life time, through thick and thin, and everything else while investing so little into the relationship?  It just boggles the mind. 

 

Please address the reasons for this neglect.  Is it all about the show of the wedding and our intentions to everyone but yet lacking in the truest forms of love and commitment in order to take that wedding and turn it into an on going life of beauty, wonder, awe and promises fulfilled?  Well, that is a run on sentence for sure but that is how desperately and dramatically I am typing these words...Hope this response is a piece of the truth that needs intervention and needs it now.

 

54.  I totally agree that we are losing the ability to communicate on a verbal level due to the technology that is so prevalent. Not long ago at a family gathering, there were five adults sitting around the dining table (where we used to have spirited discussions). Three of the five were playing games and/or texting – therefore saying nothing verbally. It saddened me to see this happening. Do I want to do away with cell phones entirely? Not at all! But I wish, as adults, we could put a limit on our nonverbal time on the phone.

 

Other than the time involved in texting and emailing, the problem with these forms of communication is that the reader interprets the message in the attitude they are in at the time – not necessarily that of the sender. A written message is just that –written! In it the reader cannot hear the sender’s heart or tone of voice and therefore can take things in a totally different way than they were intended.

 

I am somewhat fearful – not for the younger generation only, but for all of us – that we are losing our ability to communicate on a genuine level.

 

55.  As you mentioned in the article, the technology (especially the cell phone) has made great strides in interpersonal communication, safety and availability with some drawbacks along the way, of course.

 

I would like you to consider one unusual advantage that has been true in my relationship.  Early in my marriage (like in the first 3 years when your spouse still has a “pretty picture” of you!), I found it somewhat hard to have deep conversations – the kind that makes you very uncomfortable.  Sometimes driving home late at night from a day trip, I would call my husband to “keep me awake” and we would have some of the best conversations ever.  Maybe it was the fact that it wasn’t as uncomfortable but I found it so much easier to open up.  Those discussions would also open the door for others later on that would have never happened if it wasn’t for our cell conversation earlier!

 

I have truly been blessed with an incredible husband for over 13 years now because of God’s grace and our deep love & our eagerness to communicate with each other!

 

56. I remember the first time our office began to receive faxes. We were amazed by the capability of this technology and how that would enhance our ability to accomplish work more efficiently because we no longer had to wait on regular mail. One day while sitting in my office, I heard the fax machine “beep” notifying me of an incoming fax.  When I picked up the fax and read through it, I realized that it was coming from another office down the hall. I immediately walked down to that office and asked them why they had used the fax machine to send an in-house memo. The response was “We didn’t feel like leaving the office desk to come to your office so we decided to use the fax machine”.

 

I graciously but firmly responded that faxes are not free no matter where they are being sent and that the company had to now pay the cost of the fax because someone was too lazy to get up and walk themselves a few steps down a hallway.  They apologized and said that they had never taken the time to consider the cost!

 

Technology is a good think but not always a necessary one! All that we do always come with cost…just read your bible.

 

I am sure the purpose of fax machines, computers, e-mails, and cell phones was to enhance the connectivity of people who were unable to communicate directly thereby making the world more efficient. Sadly, a good tool has become an abused tool.  People sitting in the same room, not saying a word to each other, because they are texting each other instead.  WOW!  And don’t mention the # of people injured/killed because they were texting or someone who was texting hit them while driving a vehicle.  We take our eyes off of where we should be looking for a moment of personal gain and because of our selfishness someone(s) else pays the cost!

 

God has given me a resource called prayer, a “technology” to talk to him because He is physically not here but do I just leave everything to prayer such as praying for the lost.  Praying for the lost is a good thing but if I do not personally connect to the lost than reaching the lost by just praying for them…well it is just plain ineffective!

 

57. I have long been concerned that the use of technology creates distance and erects barriers between people. There was a time when a phone call or return phone call could wait until you got home.  I think it goes back to a need to feel important, that  you are needed & there is purpose, in your life.  Even if it is artificial or manufactured.  The superficial conversation is quick and easy with  no risk of being vulnerable or having to deal with the difficulty inherent in truly engaging with people.

 

From the beginning I have banned the use of cell phones or any kind of tv, or ipods during family meals. This ban is in effect whether we are eating at home or out at a restaurant. I cannot say that it means we talk more, but the opportunity is there should we choose to do so.  It is a known and accepted fact in our family.  So far no one has perished because they are unplugged for a little while.   I'd like to believe that it reminds us that the person right next to us is the most important place we should put our focus.

 

58. Not only is this affecting families connecting with each other, it is also vastly affecting the ability of our children to think and learn. Oral language is more important than people have even begun to realize.

 

59. We had a slumber party for my daughter a few years ago with 11 of her friends.  I believe she was the only one NOT with a cell phone.  At 3 am I finally got smart (after being up 5:30 and working all day before the party) and told them that if they don't shut them off I was going to start calling parents.  Never seen one shut down so fast.

 

My daughter believes she is a disadvantage because we have one computer for the family to share (in the living room) and only her father & I have cell phones (I drive the freeway to work and it's come in handy for a couple of flats).  I explained that if she needs to call us at school - darn they have a phone,  if she's at a friend's house (and we are picky where she goes) - darn they have a phone - sorry no cell phone needed at 11 years old. 

 

My kids & I joined karate together and we talk on the way there and back (we even walk if I can get off the freeway in time).  Great way for family bonding (dad works 3rd shift so he sleeps while we train in karate). 

 

I'm amazed at how many adults say they have hundreds of friends on Facebook - how many will be there if you really need them?  We really are doing a disservice to ourselves and God by not making friends with our neighbors.  I'm a 9 year cancer survivor who God lead to not take chemo, just had surgery and radiation and alternative medicine.  I believe God wants us to have connections (girl friend time) not to gossip but to encourage and lift each other up. 

 

60. Texting is definitely  a problem. High schoolers wait for the bus and are texting instead of talking and making new friends. Relationships are the best part of living. I keep wondering if I’ll lose contact with our grandblessings if they get cell phones. It’s sad and a big concern for me.

 

61. I totally agree that technology is stealing our conversation abilities.  I first noticed it with the increasing number of 'automated' phones calls that I get into.  I really, really don't like have to push 1 for this or listen to an automated list of choices 4 times just to get to talk to someone.  I really miss just talking to someone. 

 

 

I also have 3 kids (26, 22, 18) and my 18 year old son will text me from upstairs or another room in the house with a question and I refuse to answer him unless he actually comes and asks me. That is just ridiculous.

 

 

There is a huge gap in a 'conversation' when texting because you don't really fully understand what that person really means unless you hear the tone in their voice or see their face and a lot can be taken the wrong way creating bad feelings etc.  

 

 

I also have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  I see the benefits from being able to stay in contact with people/children but … I also think it is a big gossip site and kind of look at it as a bit cry for the need for conversation in our lives, connecting with others, but don't think that is the best way to do it. 

 

 

One other thing is that I sometimes cringe at the thought of what life will be like in 15 years when my grandson is a teenager.  At 2 he already knows how to work a cell phone and computer.  Yikes!!!!

 

62. Texting was a topic of conversation just today. My husband and I are going through problems in our marriage. One of the things I've noticed is many arguments occur because of something that was texted and was misunderstood by one of us.  Today my husband texted me after refusing to have a conversation last night. I thought the tone of his text was ugly and didn't respond.  Later he texted me asking why I didn't respond and I said I would rather talk than text because texting can be misunderstood. His response was "I enjoy texting. Speak message. Little emotion. Can get right to point".  What has happened to verbal communication in marriage? 

63.  My son (23) and his girl friend (24) met, fell in love and have maintained a long distance relationship almost exclusively through texting.  They do talk on the phone from time to time but mostly it's over 100 texts a day. They have been serious for about 6 months now and have only seen each other 3 times.  I keep wondering if you can really know someone with such poor communication.  I just see no way this could really prepare them to do life together. The good news is he is in the Navy and when he is at sea nothing in their relationship changes...

 

64. I agree with your concerns about the technology of this society.  I’m just as concerned as you are.  Every day I watch households and mine, for that matter, become disconnected to the real world by social media, cell phones, facebook, twitter, and the internet.  In fact, my teenage girls will sit in the same room together watching a “family movie” with us and instead of speaking out loud to one another they will text each other.  There is too much secrecy going on right under our noses. 

Sometimes, adults can’t point the finger at these children’s behaviors because that’s where most children are learning to do it!  It is from the parents.  I recently fell into the trap of texting using the excuse of work and to keep better track of the kids when my husband refuses to fall into this trap he opted out of the idea.  Now, he says I’m just as bad as the girls.  This broke my heart because I knew that this comment was his way of getting my ATTENTION. 

We have always had rules about our family time around the dinner table and we still enforce them such as no answering the phone during dinner and you have to keep all electronics away from the table as well.  I pray that all families would see the value in building relationships through conversation!  I’ve had to teach myself to use self control when in comes to using my cell phone but most people do not know how to “self control”. 

65. I "lost" my husband's attention to a computer, to Solitaire, to Porn online to fantasy  etc. I have been deeply saddened by texting replacing the sound and the energy of the spoken word. This technology has" some "good reasons to exist. Given a choice , I wish texting, and computers did not exist. Our planet is in big trouble , and I imagine just how sadly this is for our Beloved Creator to see his created so far away from  God and one another.

I spend a lot of alone time by choice. One by one we can change this. Everyone, stop taking your phone into dining areas. When you are in the presence of another being, turn your cell off.

 

Sadly, I am very aware I am answering this important question on the computer.

 

I will now stop and thank God for my cat, I would rather listen to her purr.

 

66. Unfortunately, the lack of communication isn't something that started with the cell phones. Television was the first really BIG home divider. I have that problem now. We cannot use our cell phones at home because of the service issue so we have both a land line and cell phone providers.

I fear the world might stop turning if my husband couldn't get the Golf Channel. I have begged and even cried asking him to at least mute the thing and talk to me. It doesn't work. I started sitting in the bedroom watching my own TV. No communication at all. We struggle just to talk to each other in the car when we are going from one place to another and it is all due to that one-eyed monster that lives in my living room. It is sad. Very sad. You are absolutely right, too, that you cannot have a relationship without communication. We will be married 10 years this September. I do a lot of praying!

67.  I completely agree with the technology issues. It just sucks us in. I have been staying with my sister for a few months to help with a new baby and her husband sits on the couch with his iPod touch, kindle, or tablet almost all night after work.

 

Then when we eat dinner he is on it at the table and after that also into the wee hours of the night. I am not sure how to approach this in the right way for God to change and convict him, but I see major negative issues. Their one-year-old son will come up to him when he is on it and he yells at him, because he is a distraction. He claims to be a Christian, yet does not fulfill his role as husband or father, except to provide food and a place to sleep, and is angry a lot. I remember whenever my parents allowed my brothers to play games on technological devices they were always really irritable after. I think a lot of these issues would be eliminated if the technology was taken out of the equation. It is another way Satan is destroying marriages and families. I could say more, but you get the picture.

 

68. I agree with you. I'm usually the spouse waiting for my husband to get off the cell, iPad, instagram, text messaging, Facebook, or some other game that has him hooked. I'm tired of having my conversations through text messages and would enjoy an old-fashioned conversation face to face. But, the truth is we barely have anything to say to each other anymore.

 

69.  Yes! Yes! Yes!   Cell phones and emailing are damaging our marriages. Here is how it has mine:

 

  • Technology has made it at a fingertip easy to have affairs (emotionally, sexual etc).  Skype, email, texting, face to face on iPhones etc. the fantasy world of talking to someone privately 24/7 who will listen, pat your ego etc. Words of the love language can be typed with any backbone meaning, sexual things can be said as a game that you might not say face to face to someone. We can make ourselves be people who we may not be in person. You can the promise the world to someone when you know down deep you won't follow through with. This kind of affair relationship can be clicked "on" on our schedule when we want it. No appointment necessary. No one to say "not now" or what till kids go to bed. Etc. It's brings the unrealistic of affairs bring the best thing in your life to an even higher level.

 

  • Married couple text / email/ fb throughout day or evening to "talk" or discuss important issues. Then when together never talk. My husband had come to be a techno geek that major important life relationship topics are texted or emailed out. We don't discuss them in person. This drives me crazy. It causes a lot of heated decisions because texts and emAils can be taken the wrong way or written to boldly.  As a stay-at-home mom sure during kids events or during day to say  texting can be fun and keep each other connected. But I truly long for that face to face talk. One where someone actually looks at you eye to eye and listens. Voice to voice gets old because you multi task while talking leaving your partner waiting for you to answer the question which silent reveals he/ she didn't hear the question. Or everyone around hears your conversation so there's no privacy!  Is our world so busy we can't find time to have a face to face talk?
  • How important do you feel when your hubby keeps checking his phone while you’re talking to him?  Or first thing in morning even before he says good morning to you as wife he checks his cell?  iPhone's / smart phones are like walking around with a computer glued to your hand.  Movies, text emailing goggle search Skype apps of
  • everything and anything available 24/7. Who needs a human person, right?  Well those phones can't hug you or pray for you , cheer you on, etc. Being on technology 24/7 we miss a lot of Gods daily blessings and miracles. Things that we can't go to technology and ask for a rewind version.

Sad how a good thing "technology"  is slowing destroying God’s love of human touch

 

Copyright © 2012 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.



Save a Marriage Today

Subscribe to our newsletter