Go Back to All Marriage Resources couples on a double date at the beach where perhaps they might talk about marriage

How To Talk About Marriage With Friends (Without It Being Awkward)

I remember the day a couple in our small group shared they were getting divorced. We’d been in a group with them for years, and I knew they had some hard things they were working through, but I was still shocked.

I started replaying the many conversations we’ve had over the years—about our kids, Netflix, weekend plans. But marriage … we had somehow skimmed over that.

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Maybe, unlike me, you’ve really noticed some friends struggling in their marriage and wished you could encourage them. Or maybe you’ve seen your own relationship grow, and have wondered about how to talk about marriage and share what’s changed without sounding like you’re preaching.

The truth is, we’re not meant to do marriage in isolation. When we talk about marriage openly in our small groups, around the dinner table, or over coffee, we help create a community where honesty, grace, and growth are normal.

4 Tips to talk about marriage with others

But here’s the reality: Talking about marriage doesn’t need to be awkward. And really, it can be a moment that strengthens both marriages and friendships. Here are a few tips.

1. Start with your own story.

You don’t have to be an expert at marriage or have it all together; you just have to be honest. What’s an experience you and your spouse have worked through?

For us, the first year of marriage was harder than we ever expected. We didn’t realize how much of our own “baggage” was going to affect our day-to-day life.

2. Ask genuine, but gentle, questions.

Sometimes listening is the best way to encourage someone. Ask questions that invoke reflection, not judgement.

What’s something you’re enjoying about your marriage right now?
Are y’all able to connect much lately? I know it’s been a really busy season.
Do you ever struggle to connect in the midst of the craziness?
What’s something that’s been a little harder about your marriage right now?

3. Call out the good.

Every couple could use encouragement (or maybe a reminder) about what they’re doing well. As a friend, it’s a small way you can help breathe life into a marriage.

“I really admire the way you two tag team with your kiddos.”

“Y’all handle the big things thrown at you like such a great team.”

4. Share what’s helped you.

You wouldn’t hold back on enthusiastically sharing your favorite restaurant, vacation spot, or even a podcast episode that resonated with you, right? You can do the same thing about what’s helped your marriage.

We learned new tools for our very different communication styles at the Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway. I realized we were often barely missing each other … a lack of response to a question, not “seeing” one another when tackling something new, or even just living in survival mode without any time to connect on the horizon. This weekend helped us name the problem, dive into it, and make a plan to move forward in our marriage.

(FYI, they happen every year all over the country.)

It’s worth it to talk about marriage

The truth is, sometimes it’s scary to start these conversations or even share the struggles we’ve overcome (or are still walking through). But really, someone just has to go first.

We are not meant to do marriage alone, and one conversation could be the door that opens the “You, too?”

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Taylor Aragon serves as the Brand Marketing Manager for FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® getaways. She has been on staff with Cru for nine years, spending her first six years in campus ministry before transitioning to FamilyLife. Originally from south Georgia, Taylor moved to New Mexico to attend New Mexico State University, where she met her husband, Christian, and decided to make the desert home. They’ve been married for nine years and have a 5-year-old daughter and a baby boy who keep life loud, fun, and full of reminders of God’s grace.