Think back to the great dates you’ve had with your spouse, and reflect for a moment on what made them great.
Was it adventure?
Or was it something simple, but with plenty of time to communicate and just be together?
It’s easy for a married couple to get into ruts—doing the same things together, year after year. No matter how deep your rut is, all it takes is a little initiative, time to focus, and some creativity sprinkled in and you can turn some of those sprinkles into the sparks of having an enjoyable time together.
Here are some ideas for a simple date night and some questions to ask one another. Are you ready? Let’s go …
Keeping it simple
First, pick the location of the date. Choose from the four ideas below:
- A great restaurant that you enjoy and can afford.
- A park or a location that holds positive memories for you both.
- A drive together in the car—no cell phones, no radio (unless you both like the music), no deadlines, and plenty of time just to talk.
- A surprise picnic lunch or dinner … something out of the ordinary that you haven’t done in years.
Got it? Great, you are on your way.
Next, make your plans. Arrange babysitting if needed, make reservations and plan for what you’ll need, and begin to think of how you can build a little anticipation.
For example, put up a sticky note at the beginning of the week on your spouse’s bathroom mirror that says something like, “Wanna join me for a fun date Saturday around noon?” Or get foxy and creative and don’t spell out what you are going to do—just leave little clues. Curiosity and anticipation fuel great dates.
And be sure to explain how your spouse should dress for the date and when you’ll head out.
Men, when you pick up your wife, hold her hand, walk her to the car, open the door for her, and tell her you are looking forward to your time together.
Sparking a conversation
Whatever your date is, it needs sparks to ignite some conversations that you haven’t had in a while. So after you’ve both had some moments to decompress from your normal busyness and routine, explain that you have some questions that you’ll both work through during your time together. You can add more if you’d like—these questions are designed to fire up a conversation between the two of you, like you had when you were dating before marriage.
Take turns answering the questions and remember that your goal is to relax and enjoy one another. So if you only get to answer and discuss just one or two questions, that’s okay.
Question #1: What are a couple dates that you really enjoyed—that were special?
Take time to recall where you went and describe it. What did you do … What do you especially recall about the date … What did you talk about?
Take turns back and forth. If you can’t recall more than one or two, move on to the next question.
Question #2: What do you remember most about our honeymoon?
If your honeymoon was a fun experience, take some time to recall funny times, embarrassing times, special moments. If it was a challenging experience, talk about what you learned from it.
Question #3: What are the common ingredients of our most pleasant times together?
Do a little brainstorming together. If you came up with pleasant memories for the first two questions, what were the common factors that sparked the enjoyment? See how many you can list.
Then discuss the list and talk about how you can build a couple of those elements into this date or in your future times together. Maybe it’s something spontaneous, like holding hands and going for a walk … or …
Question #4 (ask this on your way home): What attracted you to each other when you first began to develop your relationship?
List as many as you can. It’s good to remember how God brought you together and how He uses you to complement each other.
Trying a little chivalry
Men, at the at the end of your date be sure to open your wife’s car door for her, walk her into your home, and then ask how you can pray for her. And give her a kiss—no expectations attached, just a very sweet kiss.
I hope you will experience a great date. Tell me about it in the comments section below.
Copyright © 2015 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.