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A Take on Tim’s World

with Tim Hawkins | December 29, 2011

Comedian Tim Hawkins reminisces about his childhood and his mother’s unique ways of disciplining him. Joining Tim by phone is his mother, Nelda, who dispels any fibs Tim might have told about her mothering techniques.

Comedian Tim Hawkins reminisces about his childhood and his mother’s unique ways of disciplining him. Joining Tim by phone is his mother, Nelda, who dispels any fibs Tim might have told about her mothering techniques.

A Take on Tim’s World

With Tim Hawkins
|
December 29, 2011
| Download Transcript PDF

Bob: The rest is history.

Tim:  The rest is history, and I enjoy my job.  It is a fun job, but she gets back at me.  You know, women—they have ways of getting back at their husbands.  It is usually questions that husbands have no idea how to answer.

Dennis:  Yes!

Tim:  Like, “Three weeks ago, you gave me a funny look in the car.  Why?”  (Laughter)  “Uuhh?”  “Now, what were you thinking three weeks ago when you gave me that look?”  “Honey, I don’t know what I’m thinking right now!  Can I use a lifeline or phone a friend here?  I don’t know what to say to you, Woman!”  (Laughter)

You know, like late at night, questions that men have no idea how to answer.  Like, “Okay, ladies, look!  We don’t know what that sound is anymore than you do!”  “I just snuggled into a warm spot here. I don’t want to move.  What am I going to do—throw my boxers at him?  You know, give him a wet willie?”  (Laughter)

Dennis:  I have got an assignment.  I have got an assignment for you.  We started out this broadcast with your mom Nelda stinging you with a little surprise introduction, which you really liked by the way.

Tim:  I loved it!

Dennis:  What I want you to do here in a couple of moments—I’m going to give you a chance to collect your thoughts.  I’m going to ask you to do something that’s exactly opposite of what you do for a living.  Instead of being the comedian, I’d like you to close today’s broadcast by giving your mom a tribute, here on FamilyLife Today.

Tim:  Okay, this isn’t in the contract. I didn’t agree to this! You’re playing dirty right now.

Bob:  What are you going to do? Huh? What are you going to do?

Tim:  So, you want me to give Mom a tribute?

Bob:   A verbal tribute.

Dennis:  You’re going to give your mom a tribute as though she was seated across the table from you.  So, you’re not one of my kids, but you fell under the curse.  (Laughter)

 

Tim:  I can totally do that. I will take you up on your challenge.

Bob:  While you’re thinking about it, let me encourage our listeners to go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.  We have the video version of the Chick-fil-A song that Tim did, if you want to watch it.  Click the link and they can watch you perform the Chick-fil-A song.

We also have information about your latest DVD, which is called Rockshow Comedy Tour.   That DVD is available on our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.  Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, and we can send a copy of it out to you.  Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY. 

And then, quickly, don’t forget, “We are down to the wire here—the last couple days of the year.”  We are trying to take advantage of the biggest matching-gift fund that has ever been made available to us, here at FamilyLife—more than $4 million in matching funds that are available—but to take advantage of them, we need to hear from listeners today, tomorrow, Saturday, at the latest, in order for your donation to be matched dollar for dollar. 

You can make an online donation at FamilyLifeToday.com.  Click the button that says, “I Care”; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.  As a thank-you gift this week, we are making available the planning guide for couples called “Getting Away to Get It Together”.  It is our way of saying, “Thanks,” for helping us with this matching-gift challenge.  Help us take full advantage of the matching-gift opportunity.  Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a year-end donation to FamilyLife Today.  We appreciate your support, whatever you are able to do. 

Dennis—

Dennis:  Well, we’ve had fun today, Bob, again, here on FamilyLife Today. 

 

Bob:  Yes. 

Dennis:  A little more than normal because we’ve had a comedian with us—at least, he thinks he’s funny.  Tim Hawkins has joined us.

Tim:  Wow!  (Laughter)

 

Bob:  That is harsh—that was harsh!

Tim:  Are you saved?   Are you really a Christian?

Dennis:  I am a Christian, but I gave you an assignment to do something serious.  Can you do this?

Tim:  Right! I can do it.

Dennis:  Can you give your mom, Nelda, a tribute, here on the broadcast?

Tim:  I can!  I tell you what, Mom, the thing I can say about you is that you never—and I’ve told you this—you never had a harsh word for me; and I know that’s hard for a parent.  No matter what I was doing, you just got behind it all the way and you did it.  You’re always just a solid person: I trust you with all my heart.  You didn’t spank me as many times as I tell people you did, but I deserved it when you did; and I’m glad you did because you cared about me and you loved me.

 I so appreciate you getting up every day in the cold, a lot of times, and going to teach kids, and put food on the table, and you always laughed at me.  That was one of the joys of my life; and I’ll tell you what—I just love having you around.  I love the way you love my family, my wife, and my kids.  I respect you and I think love is just not a big enough word for you. 

I hope you know that—because I know I can be a challenge, and I have been—but man, I’ll tell you, if anybody calls me a good person, it’s all because of you, and Dad, too, also. I sure respect you, and you’re a great lady, and I love you!

Bob:  FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. 

Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow.

Song: Imagine

Artist: Tim Hawkins

Album: Full Range of Motion (p) Tuna Fish Productions 2007

Song: Chick-fil-A

Artist: Tim Hawkins

Album:  Pretty Pink Tractor (p) Tuna Fish Productions 2011

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Copyright © 2011 FamilyLife.  All rights reserved.

www.FamilyLife.com

 

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