FamilyLife Today® Podcast

Tim Plays the Hits

with Tim Hawkins | December 30, 2011
Play Pause

Comedian Tim Hawkins dusts off his guitar and plays some of his most popular hits, including “Cletus Take the Reel” and “What You Don’t Say to Your Wife”.

  • Show Notes

  • About the Host

  • About the Guest

  • Comedian Tim Hawkins dusts off his guitar and plays some of his most popular hits, including “Cletus Take the Reel” and “What You Don’t Say to Your Wife”.

  • Dave and Ann Wilson

    Dave and Ann Wilson are hosts of FamilyLife Today®, FamilyLife’s nationally-syndicated radio program. Dave and Ann have been married for more than 38 years and have spent the last 33 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® marriage getaway since 1993 and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country. Cofounders of Kensington Church—a national, multicampus church that hosts more than 14,000 visitors every weekend—the Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released book Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019). Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as chaplain for 33 years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active alongside Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small-group leader, and mentor to countless wives of professional athletes. The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.

Comedian Tim Hawkins dusts off his guitar and plays some of his most popular hits, including “Cletus Take the Reel” and “What You Don’t Say to Your Wife”.

MP3 Download Transcript

Tim Plays the Hits

With Tim Hawkins
December 30, 2011
| Download Transcript PDF

Bob:  Have you been surprised—has there been anybody come up and talked about how God has used your comedy in some spiritual way in their life?

Tim:    Oh yes!  Well, stories from Iraq and people overseas—people going through sickness, and things like that.  I get it all the time, “I haven’t laughed in ten years.”

Dennis:    Really?!  Are you talking about soldiers who are watching your YouTube videos? 

Tim:  Yes!  My videos have been sent over there.  I get emails all the time from people from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Dennis:   Guys in the middle of war who need something to laugh about.

Tim:  Right!  There is a story of a friend that I met a couple of years ago.  His name is Zack Divendorf .  He was from Rochester, New York.   I am talking about a 12- to 13-year-old kid who was diagnosed with a brain tumor about a year ago.  We lost him three months ago.  In that time—and he was a fan, and he was going through—I just can’t understand it –going through chemo as a 13-year-old kid.  That is what he had to look forward to—I can’t grasp that.  I don’t deserve that, but for some reason God has worked me into it.  I am just glad to be a part of it. 

Dennis:   Your legacy— what would you like your legacy to be?

Tim:   I actually know that answer!  I want to refresh people!  There is a verse in Philemon that talks about, “You have refreshed the souls of the saints.”  That’s my life.  I want to refresh people—plain and simple.

Dennis:  Humor does do that!

Tim:  It does!

Bob:  Alright, any songs that you have been working on?  Anything new?  

Tim:  I’ll do a classic here.  This is a song about being married, and how you learn the hard way as a husband. 

Hey Honey, have you gained some weight in your rear end?
The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend.
And where’d you get those shoes; I think they’re pretty lame.
Would you stop talking ‘cause I’m trying to watch the game.

If you’re a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don’t say to your wife.

I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday;
I didn’t ask you but I knew it’d be okay.
Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show,
I taped it over our old wedding video.

Tim:  (I’ve done that—shut up!)

If you’re a man who wants to live a long and happy life
These are the things you don’t say to your wife.


Dennis:  You know, it’s interesting this song has three stanzas.

Tim:  It does!

Dennis:  There’s lots of content.

Tim:  And a solo!  I’ll make it quick.

Your cooking is okay but not like mother makes.
The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake.
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill?
Happy anniversary Sweetie I bought you a tread-mill.

(Laughter)  Ohhhhhh, uuugggghhhh, ugggghhh.

Bob:  I agree with that!  (Laughter)

Tim:  Live and learn, people!

Bob:  Learn from Tim’s mistakes; right?  That is really what your life is all about—share your mistakes with people and let them learn from them.

Tim:  “Embrace the failure,” I like to say.   “It’s your best friend.”

Dennis:  You know, earlier I asked you to do a tribute to your mom, Nelda.  Your dad’s name is—? 

Tim:  Dave

Dennis:   Dave.  I’d like you to come back in just a moment, and I’d like you to give your dad a tribute.  It is all about Exodus, Chapter 20, verse12—honoring your mom and dad. 

I think, interestingly, Tim, this really does something for the audience—for those moms and dads who are in the midst of raising their kids, right now.  They may have a Timmy, who’s kind of pushing the edges of their family.

Bob:  Now, you are not allowed to call him, Timmy.  Only I can call him Timmy.

Tim:  I’ll let it go—just this once.

Bob:  Nelda and me.  While you are thinking about what you want to share with your dad, let me let our listeners know that on our website at, we have information about the Rockshow Comedy Tour DVD set—two DVDs—two and a half hours of comedy and music—Tim Hawkins, along with Bob Smiley and John Branyan.  If you would like information about how to get these comedy DVDs, go to; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY. 

And don’t forget, this is it.  I mean, this is the last day that we are going to be on, talking about the matching-gift opportunity that was made available to us back at the beginning of the month.  It started off at $2.5 million and the fund grew.  It is now more than $4 million.  Thankfully, the matching part of the fund has been growing as well; but we still have a ways to go if we are going to take full advantage of that matching gift.  We need to hear from you today or tomorrow. 

So, go to and make an end-of-the-year donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.  We appreciate whatever you are able to do.  In fact, this week, we are offering a thank-you gift of a book, by Bill and Carolyn Wellons, called Getting Away to Get It Together:  A Getaway Guide for Couples for a personal retreat together. 

If you go to and make a year-end donation by clicking the button that says, “I Care”, you will automatically get a copy of that planning guide sent to you; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and just ask for a copy of the planning guide when you call us.  We do appreciate your support of the ministry and whatever you are able to do to help us out.


Dennis:  Well, I want to thank Tim Hawkins for being on the broadcast.  Tim, thanks for coming down from St. Louis—a fellow Cardinal fan.

Tim:  Go Cards!

Dennis:  Yes, go Cardinals!  Tim has kept us light today.  A little humor, which I think we all need in this culture.  I asked him earlier if he would come back and close the broadcast with something a little more on the serious side and give a tribute to his dad.  So, the floor is yours, Tim.

Tim:  Oh Dad!  Pop!  The first recollection I remember of you, Dad—you were pitching fast-pitch softball in your men’s league.  I forget—I think it was a church league or something.  That is what I remember a lot about my childhood with you, Dad.   Growing up with you—you just playing catch in the backyard—you just cared. 

You just loved us.  You loved me and Todd so much!  I just want to say that I respect you, and I am proud of you.  I would have no other dad.  You are a wonderful person.  You are a passionate person, and you are a humble person.  You taught me how to be humble.  You just taught me humility, Dad.  You taught me how to treat people. 

You were raised in an atmosphere, to be honest with you, it wasn’t very race-friendly.  You taught me how not to judge people by the color of their skin and to respect other people, no matter what they looked like.  I love you, Dad.  Every time I see you, I just light up because you are still my Dad.  I will see you soon, hopefully. 

Bob:  FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. 

Help for today, hope for tomorrow.

Song: Delilah 

Artist: Tim Hawkins

Album: Cletus Take the Reel (p) Crown Entertainment 2009

 Song: Cletus Take the Reel

Artist: Tim Hawkins

Album: Cletus Take the Reel (p) Crown Entertainment 2009

Song: Things You Don't Say to Your Wife

Artist: Tim Hawkins

Album: Full Range of Motion (p) Tuna Fish Productions 2007

Help for today.  Hope for tomorrow.

We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.  However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.  If you’ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider donating today to help defray the costs? 

Copyright © 2011 FamilyLife.  All rights reserved.