10 Tips for Leading Marriage Small Groups
Significant life change can happen in the context of small groups. Marriages are restored, strengthened, and important conversations emerge. As group members feel safe to discuss issues and share experiences on a more personal level, vulnerability grows. One of the keys to small group effectiveness is the leaders and the preparations they make.
Do you feel prepared to lead a marriage small group?
We asked Scott and Sue Allen, small group leaders for 25 years, to share their top 10 tips for leading marriage-enrichment small groups. Here’s what they shared:
1. Choose materials wisely.
The appropriate marriage small group material matters. It could mean the difference between a married couple being engaged in the study or becoming wishy-washy in their attendance. Finding the right material starts by looking at resources online, talking to married couple mentors, or taking a recommendation from a friend.
The optimal length of a small-group class is six weeks, with each session lasting 60 to 90 minutes. A six-week class keeps the material fresh and is short enough for people to make the commitment to attend.
If you use digital media, make sure the delivery technology works well in your chosen location.
2. Enlist others to help facilitate conversations.
Being a small group leader can feel overwhelming at times. It’s helpful to have other facilitators who can help lead group discussions, whether you are on vacation or need a break from leading. This also gives others the leadership opportunity to be used by God.
3. Choose the meeting time and location carefully.
Sunday morning at church fits most church structures. Childcare and classroom space are usually available. If you decide to have a home study, consider how you will handle childcare, a very important issue for parents.
4. Personally prepare week to week.
Study the material early in the week and meditate on it throughout the week. Refresh your memory by looking through your notes, either the night before class or the morning of. Guard against letting up on your personal Bible study and prayer time because Satan will be eager to attack any good work in your life.
5. Be punctual.
Each week, arrive at least 20 minutes prior to your marriage small group meeting so you can have everything ready and have time for personal prayer, yielding to God’s direction and wisdom.
Start and finish on time. Resist the urge to “wait until everyone is here” before starting, or to “keep going because everyone is engaged” when it is time to stop. People appreciate when you stick to your schedule; it shows you respect their time.
6. Promote through multiple channels.
Different channels and methods catch different people’s attention. Facebook, email, Instagram, text, church bulletins, church foyer tables, posters, word of mouth, pulpit announcements—use all channels available to you. We recommend that you start promotion three weeks before your marriage small group begins. Visit the resource publisher’s website; sometimes you’ll find downloadable promotion files there. Create an attractive flyer that gives the class details: location, time, subject, length, childcare, and contact name, email, and phone number, along with a call to action such as “Sign up today!”
7. Provide snacks and drinks.
Food, even just something to drink, usually puts people at ease. During the first class, circulate a sign-up sheet for couples to volunteer to bring snacks.
8. Communicate with group members throughout the week.
Create a GroupMe or text group and communicate often with prayer requests, reminders of topics discussed, and homework for couples to do. Encourage small group members to pray for one another.
9. Consider the seating arrangement.
If you are able, arrange the chairs in a circle. This facilitates good discussion.
10. Encourage participation.
During discussion, become comfortable with silence. You may find it awkward to ask a question and sit in silence for a few seconds, but doing so often encourages a group member to interact who normally might not. Resist the temptation to answer your own question.
Start each class with an “ice breaker” question. Possible questions are “Where was your first date?” or “What is your favorite restaurant?”
Participants aren’t the only ones who will benefit
Leading a marriage class can be very rewarding to you and your spouse in addition to those who attend. As you prepare for each class, you will find God strengthening your own marriage and giving you a heart to minister to others.
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